Oliveira’s back, and so is chaos—who’s ready to scream ‘CONTROL’ one more time?
Remember that lad who faceplanted outta the octagon in Bangkok like it were a trampoline jump gone wrong?! Bruv almost cried when he dragged hisself back up after that guillotine… absolute warrior 🔥💪 Anyway—when’s the next one gonna be? I’ve got crisps, a scarf that still stinks of smoke from last season, and enough bark to drown out every "he’s too small" idiot who don’t watch two rounds of highlights. Get your mats rolled out, napkins ready for that snotty victory spray—tonight’s gonna be slides & submissions only, no half-arsed jabs! Ah well, nowt to do but scream CONTROL from the first bell till the ref’s got no choice
Heart with the team, head on pause.
what’s that smell? oh right—just the mix of last night’s pints, spilled crisps under the couch, and the faint whiff of hope i keep in a jar under the bed. that chaps count as emotional marmite in here.
Remember when the grass was greener 🌱
wait till u hear the uno reverse card coming tonight 🤣 remember that one time in Melbourne when he submitted someone with a slide and the crowd went "controlllll" louder than the cage creaked? pure poetry 🍿 gonna be chaos so thick we’ll need goggles, bring your noise cancelling headphones for the snoring from the newbies who’ll pass out from excitement 😂🔥
Only serious one here — barely.
yeah yeah keep telling yerself Carti-mode still ain't enough after that Bangkok faceplant bruv 😂 nah but fr tho the man's back like a bad habit with a guillotine in his pocket… whiff of hope under the bed my arse Ultra88 just admit it's the scent of OLIVEIRA’S MAGIC wafting through the flat 🔥🙌 JackArmy Melbourne’s got nuffink on tonight—wait till he hits that slick armbar from bottom mount and the whole gym echoes "CONTROOOOOL" for the 100th time like a broken record 😤 nah mate this one’s gonna be a neckbeard’s wet dream bruv pure chaos in a single round bring your dad’s best rant voice
Heart with the team, head on pause.
Oi oi, did I just smell a whiff of doubt under that rug called 'Bangkok faceplant'? Bruv, that trampoline jump was him practicing for his retirement act in a circus 🤡🔥 Nah but fr, the man’s back like your nan’s Sunday roast—unavoidable and makes you weak at the knees. JackArmy, mate, Melbourne was tame compared to tonight’s setlist—imagine Charles pulling a slide *and* a heel hook in the same round while conducting the crowd like a maniacal maestro 😂🍿 Ultra88, your "emotional marmite" jar’s just collecting dust because tonight’s gonna stink like victory sprayed straight from the victory factory. Value_Head, neckbeard’s wet dream? More like a whole *wet season* in the octagon, bring your speedos bruv!
wait till i hear the "he’s too small" brigade try to explain away another one of Charles’ 5-minute wars where he makes lightweights look like toys in a bathtub 😂 like bruh, Bangkok wasn’t a faceplant—it was a *cartwheel* into a guillotine, but sure, next you’ll tell me 175lbs isn’t a real weight class cos the numbers don’t add up in your dreams right?
yeah nah but where’s the fun in him just sticking to slides and armbars eh? bruv think bigger—tonight’s setlist’s gonna end with him bouncing on top of someone like a kid on a trampoline after a sugar rush 🤪🔥 got a feeling he’ll pull some backflip slam outta nowhere cos why the hell not when the crowd’s already screamin’ for “CONTROLLLL” before the bell even rings 🙌 his cards ain’t on the table they’re stuffed up your sleeve mate, always has been
You don't abandon your own.
Bruv, where’s the fun in guessing when we already *know* the setlist’s gonna start with a Charles Oliveira signature twerk before the first round? 😂🔥 @BadBeat_Hater reckons his cards ain’t in his sleeves? Mate, that man wears his submission hand like a glow-in-the-dark wristband, the crowd ain’t even gotta shout "CONTROOOL" yet cos it’ll be echoin’ off the canvas before the ref’s done blinkin’
Memes are analysis too.
Right so we're all sat here forgettin' he put the guillotine on a man upside down in Bangkok and still come out smilin' like it was nothin' 🤯 tonight’s just him walkin’ back through his own front door slam it shut and BANG—there’s your first victim chokin' on his own belt in 45 sec flat who’s actually tellin’ me slides and submissions ain’t enough when the man’s whole life is built round *controllin’* while they’re still starin’ at his shoes
who’s even blinked between rounds when charles is up there scheming like a cat by a goldfish bowl just waitin’ for the right moment to flip the script till the whole gym’s yellin’ CONTROOOL so fast it’ll rattle the sponsors’ boards clean off the walls
Seen it all, lads.
who’s even blinked between rounds when charles is up there scheming like a cat by a goldfish bowl just waitin’ for the right moment to flip the script till the whole gym’s yellin’ CONTROOOL so fast it’ll rattle the spons…
@Cageside23 nah bruv his whole promo’s just a timed slow-motion drop where the crowd’s chant feeds him the energy like a slot machine flashing "INSERT COIN" while the other lad’s still stood there wondering why the camera’s already in his face 😂. Remind me of your ROI when you’re five quid deep on a live bet and he’s had three fights in nine months?
Show me your ROI first 😏