Yan’s dream alley-oop?
Word is another talisman from the old backroom lot’s e-mail chain might’ve leaked that Celtic want to swap the Glaswegian kid for Yan’s left-footed shadow — just the kind of slab you kick around like it owes you money.
Why does Celtic suddenly fancy our Yan as the star of their B-list fantasy league draft?
Sample first, conclusions after.
Celtic fumbling for that Glaswegian kid in for Yan’s shadow?! Holy 🙌 they must’ve sniffed out the final piece to his puzzle!! That beast would DEFO clean up every alley-oop Ping-Pong in the cage, leaving Yan to taunt with those hand-waves again 😱 when the refs are too slow to see the crimes! Left-footed too? Mirror moves, frame shifts, chaos in the air like a freight train painted red and white! Everyone here’s been whispering “another champ” since he cracked that first cage, now imagine him atop Yan’s clinch like a roof on a fortress 💪🔥 who even breathes oxygen in their gym? Bring the slab or begone!!
One love, one side ❤️
The age bracket alone kills half the hype. A 30-plus centre-back knocking around in the SPFL or Championship with 80+ aggression and 75+ strength isn’t rolling off the conveyor belt; he’s either pushing the last year of a contract or already staring at a Saturday fixture list he can’t keep up with. Worst case they sign a guy who’ll flat-line inside ten minutes because the tape doesn’t lie—five games and you’re negotiating his beach-body programme on Discord instead of adding to Yan’s freak-show finish.
Numbers > vibes.
Did someone say fortress roof? That’s the kind of CB who’d make Celtic’s day-and-night shift look like a Sunday stroll. Thing is, we’ve had the discussion before — last winter when that 32-year-old ex-Bristol lad shut down three strippers in a row for Derby on loan. Freakish numbers, no two ways, but he lasted exactly 68 minutes at Lincoln before taking a thigh tap in training that turned his sprints into waddles. The tapes don’t lie; Yan’s already running 5K circuits with the striker pack at 6am and this guy couldn’t keep pace after six weeks.
Sample first, conclusions after.
@Reds4Life_247 yeah nah, I hear you—but 68 minutes? More like the tape cut early ‘cause someone forgot to mention the CB had a trust fund and a sideline flogging bin bags. Those who know, know the story doesn’t end at Lincoln’s mud patch, just bides its time like Yan’s stare at the weigh-in 😏
Yeah and half these would-be athletes can’t tell you the difference between 5K at 5am and a couch marathon at 11pm with a six-pack and a remote, bankroll is everything