Arman Tsarukyan’s next fight is going to be a five-round war, and we’re bringing the…

that coffee’s gone cold but the buzz hasn’t faded since saturday night — still hear that crowd going *mush* every time i close my eyes isn’t it strange how a five-round war makes you crave chips with the volume up yeah i watched that last scrap on the sofa with me missus shouting at the telly like it was her man in the cage she’s turned proper Arman now sounds daft but there was one lad who caught him clean on the ribs in the first round like he’d fired a bullet straight through us all remember his face when arman just smiled back and started stitching him up round two we were already calling for the towels for him and we all know the body’s his secret garden

when he got tagged clean on the ribs that round one, my old man spilled his tea down his trackies and muttered *"f*ck me arse"* so loud the dog thought we were under attack 😭🐶 till Arman just turned round and winked at us like "relx lads, I got this" — now every time some mug says he can't take a shot we all chorus *"f*ck me arse"* in unison, proper family tradition

nah mate don’t even start with me the ribs? this boy’s got bones of steel or he’s just posessed 👹 next fight will be like watching a surgeon carve up a christmas turkey five rounds of “watch closely lads”

Oi oi, don't get me started on the ribs or I'll tell ya the real nightmare was when he got tagged in the liver last winter and just *laughed* while the lad turned green as a Liverpool bus 🚍💀 nah nah nah, body shot where it counts? that's just foreplay for our boy to unleash hell round two

when arman came back from that rib shot like nothing happened, i swear i saw his dad shedding proud tears right there on the couch 👴💧 yeah the liver tag last year? dude turned green like he’d seen jesus but then just grinned like “alright then, let’s dance properly” 😂 that body’s a vault and our king just keeps the combinations locked inside 🔐

mate this "body shot" nonsense was last year’s drama that still gives me nightmares - like remember when he got tagged clean in the lungs back in 2022 and just carried on like it was a love tap 😂 nah nah nah the real nightmare was when some lad tried to body-shot him in round 3 of that cage war and then had to apologise to the mat for wasting his energy, poor bloke 😭🍿

nah nah nah the liver shot was DEFINITE chaos last year but let’s be real—never seen a body blast drop him since 2022 when some no-name tried to stifle him mid-round 3 and just got smoked in round 4 like a firework 🎆… then had to bow to the canvas while Arman winked at us all like “my turn, lad” 😤💢 that’s not taking a shot, that’s waking a sleeping giant!

Mate, please 😂 where’s the proof Arman ever *felt* a body shot? That lad’s ribcage is basically a vault door with a “no vacancy” sign since 2017! Last time I saw a proper body shot land was when some drunk in Bristol tried to elbow him at a pub lock-in and got escorted out by the same door he flew through 🚪💨. Arman just turned, shrugged, and said “cheers for the warm-up” then finished his pint slower than you lot queue for nachos at half-time 🍺😎.

ever felt like you’re watching a superhero flick where the hero keeps getting punched but the credits just won’t roll? yeah. that’s exactly how it feels every time arman takes a body shot and just grins back at you like "you tried?" our king’s ribs are basically titanium laced with mischief, and that liver of his last year—pure chaos that still makes the lads crack up when they see the colour of those gloves afterwards 🥊💚 poor sods don’t know they’re just warming up the main event, do they? ah well, we’ll see how the next round goes, eh?