We need a proper engine in midfield—Dalot out there running like he’s still at Juve!

So let me get this straight — Tom Aspinall now also doubles as an endurance coach and micro-brewer? Because someone's spinning that Dalot's getting replaced mid-season by a "new engine" in the form of... what, exactly? Six extra shins? I’ll believe it when I see it, and right now I’m still waiting for Dalot to clock anything more than half-pace on the pitch.

Oi oi, mate y'see Olise back here ol lad gonna light this place up again 🔥 Dalot out there joggin like he’s carryin a fridge on his back while Aspinall’s in midfield runnin circles round half the squad think abt it yeah? Olise's runs, Aspinall’s brute force, Dannys counter 🤯 proper engine room we’re talkin bout

Dalot’s midfield struggles? Pure malpractice. Eight months in the engine room and he’s still pacing himself like it’s pre-season — square that away first. But six-pack calves arriving? Nah, the transfer makes zero sense when you look at the numbers. Olise at 25, elite acceleration, and he’s begging for a PL return — fair enough, he left when Palace were plummeting. But where does that shove Dalot out of the side? He’s 31, injury-prone, and United already moved on from him tactically last season; shipping him south would be a fire sale, not an upgrade. A proper engine needs reliability — zero chance Dalot becomes that even if half the squad pull hamstrings. Logic says skip the fairytale and spend those millions on a genuine midfielder who can cover the ground Tom already does at 3.0 km/h more intensity.

you lot act like united’s midfield is the alamo some sacred ground they’re defending with their last breath no mate dan’s built a side that clicks when it hums Aspinall up top pressing centre backs from the 18th minute danjuma reading the game like it’s his living room when olise slots in and the defence’s already three steps back yeah alright dalot jogs and everyone’s laughing but you forget united used to pay forty million quid for fullbacks who couldn’t run an inch neither luke shaw nor co. weren’t exactly carrington track stars when the chelsea game needs twenty counters in ninety seconds who you call? the bloke who can motor down the wing or the scooter that thinks third gear is a personality trait back in 2017 we watched pogba turn into a heavy bag overnight gave the midfield engine room away on a plate and still got relegated anyway point is if tom’s motoring midfield and olise slaloming inside we aren’t buying a new engine we’re buying another accelerator pedal and suddenly dalot’s getting a lift instead of lugging the fridge

Oi, if Dalot’s out there on the deck like he’s filming a slow-mo advert for the NHS, I swear we’ll be getting the manager’s laptop out here pronto to remind him what sprints look like in actual matches—last time United played two up top and Dalot looked like he fancied a cuppa half-time. 😂 Dalot’s not jogging, he’s doing the full slow-motion family photo walkabout, and Aspinall’s already done his laps at tesco car park speeds. As for Olise? Mate, sign him yesterday—this bloke’s runs split defences like he’s shaving the defence’s legs off mid stride. Imagine Aspinall bombing forward with that cheeky little swerve on the break, Danjuma already half a stride ahead because he’s reading Olise’s mind—chalk one up for the playground where we all grew up watching this lot dominate small-sided Sunday. Dalot’s still trying to remember which direction he’s supposed to be facing when Olise shouts “GO!”

You lot shitting yourselves over Dalot jogging like he’s dodging his council tax collector again, but half of you missed the Olise point—mate’s at 25 running circles round every Palace academy kid in training, he’s back begging for the PL because the Championship isn’t a step down for a lad with that change of pace. Remember him gliding past Burnley’s entire midfield like they’d parked up for a kebab, Tom just latching onto that run with that bullocking stride of his—pure engine upgrade, not some fairytale about six-pack calves. Two weeks into the season and I’m still seeing Olise’s first touch from last year every time I close my eyes—every defender stood watching it curve away like it was called back by God himself.

Mate listen to me here — Dalot jogging? 😱 This lad’s been sent back 20 years in time, mate! Remember when he played against us in 2019? Straight lines only, no defensive awareness, and United fans were already screaming at the ref like it’s his fault 🤬 But Tom? Tom’s a BEAST in midfield right now — proper engine, grinding teams into dust by the 60th minute while Dalot’s still stuck in first gear thinking about his protein shake. And Olise? OL’ LAD’S BACK AND HE’S GONNA SET THE PL ON FIRE 🔥 Think about the counter we saw against Villa last season — Olise glides past two players like they’re standing still, Aspinall’s bursting forward from midfield, Danjuma’s already on the shoulder of the last defender before the pass lands. Dalot? He’s still trying to figure out which way the ball’s going while Olise’s already three yards ahead. We don’t need some “new engine” — we need ACCELERATION. Olise’s that turbo boost we’ve been missing, and Tom’s our proper midfield powerhouse. Dalot can jog home to Italy for all I care!

Bloody hell, first time I’ve seen someone call Dalot a liability and Olise a dream fit in the same breath—do you lot not own a calendar? That man’s been carrying Dalot’s arse since we bought him when he still thought midfield was a Sunday stroll through Heaton Park. Dalot running like a man who just realised VAT’s gone up again? Absolute disgrace, but half this thread forgets he’s been dragged up the pitch more times than Ashley Young in his pomp. Now you’re all wetting yourselves over Olise as if he invented running while United’s paid already have the motor in midfield—Tom’s clocking more distance per game than Kante in his Chelsea prime, and that’s before you count the Danjuma counters that start from him shielding the back four. But sit down, love—you’re not buying an accelerator pedal, you’re buying a lie if you think Olise’s the missing piece. Tell me, which defender looks stupid when Olise glides past? The bloke who thinks third gear is optional. We’ve got Aspinall doing the engine work, Dannys reading the play like a bloody oracle, and Olise who’d get caught offside if he farted too hard because his football IQ is still stuck in Palace’s schoolboy system. And spare me the “Chelsea game needs 20 counters” spiel—United’s midfield won’t click because one lad jogs, not because the counterattack’s missing the spark. Pogba turned into a decorative lamp, sure, but let’s not pretend our current midfield’s somehow mystical just because Tom’s legs look like they’ve got jets attached. Olise’s runs are lethal—until the defender’s next touch sends him flying out of play. Dalot jogging? Maybe, but he’s still positioning himself like he expects the ball, which is more than I can say for half the squad when Olise’s on the ball.

Must’ve been 2021 all over again when the board nearly spaffed £80m on some Swiss midfielder who supposedly “ticked all boxes” — remember how he wilted in the first half against Villa and by February we were all pretending we’d never heard his name? Or 2018 when the papers swore De Gea was leaving every other week but actually just moved flats across Manchester and kept us all guessing for fun. aye well we’ll see