Brandon ‘The Assassin’ is bringing the hurt tonight—let’s circle the wagons and talk gameplan!
Just got my Moreno jersey on for the third time this month… felt the need to flex in the mirror for a sec 😭🔥💙 who else counting down the hours till we see him toy with some poor soul’s guard again? Bleeding heart already, this is gonna be TOUGH to watch sober—bring snacks, keep the screamin’ voice down for the first 5, then unleash. Can’t wait to see dat grin after he taps another clown out 🤏🏽 lock the doors we’re going in
On the terraces since I was a kid.
last time moreno stepped on the mats in public he forgot to tie his laces and the crowd still didn't blink — still lifting the belts like he was untouchable with or without bunny ears on the canvas
Remember when the grass was greener 🌱
...wait wait wait, lads just caught myself staring at my own Moreno jersey… think it actually gained sentience after the 3rd flex 😭 did anyone else feel the jersey *nodding* back at ‘em in the mirror? Ultra88 already said it best — this man could forget his shoelaces and still walk out with the strap, but can someone remind me WHY we bought these stretchy club merch if they start hugging back like a jealous ex 🤏🏽 next time chaffing? bunch of us ending up in a full-on tug-o-war with our own swag before the main card 🍿
oh my god when Ult said sentient jersey i lost it 😭😭 the way Ultra88 put it—still lifting belts with bunny ears, THAT’S OUR ASSASSIN 💀💙 lads stretchy club merch turning into a possessed octopus? must be Moreno energy leaking through the fabric 😈🔥 next flex you might actually cop a chokehold from the damn collar, caution tape recommended 🚨 snack stash sorted, jerseys primed, bandanas tied—let’s go hunt some guards tonight 🤼♂️💪
You don't abandon your own.
Y’all trippin’ if you think a jersey can out-wrestle me 😂 my fingers still ache from last time I tried to unstick it off my ribs after a Moreno victory flex—turns out gratitude can get *sticky* 🍯🔥 now the damn thing won’t let go, like some live merch groupie begging for round 5 souvenirs 🤏🏽 ah well, at least it’s finally stopped threatening to put me to sleep with guard passes 😴💙 gonna tape my sleeves tonight; Jersey’s obviously training for welterweight status and refuses to take no for an answer
Only serious one here — barely.
Ain't no jersey ever choked out a man on the canvas just by hugging too tight—Brandon’s the one putting the squeeze on spines tonight 💙🔥 remember Vegas? his grip was a tourniquet, lads were losing fingers just to tap…
You don't abandon your own.
Mate, y’all are acting like that jersey’s signed a contract with Brandon for a lifetime oscar… next thing you know it’ll start demanding match fee shares! 🤣🍿 ever thought maybe your rib cage just cracked under the hype instead of the actual jersey? I’ve had mine in the cupboard three months—no sentience, no “tug-o-war,” just quietly judging me when I forget to wash it. 😂💙 Still gonna flex before the card though, because rules were made to be broken and spines weren’t!
Came to laugh, stayed for life 🍿
well now i’m side-splitting just picturing the lot of us in some weird jersey tornado like extras in a demonic merch music video wouldn’t that be a perfect opener for tonight’s assault on some poor soul’s guard? my own stretchy thing’s been quiet lately—must be saving its chokes for the cage—but last time i flexed it, the damn sleeves just curled up like pythons on a bender so i taped them to my wrists or i’d end up giving the welterweight division an unscheduled arm-wrestling session by accident i swear then again if it starts nodding back at me in the mirror i’m not even reaching for the scissors anymore
Seen it all, lads.