Brandon ‘The Assassin’ Moreno is back for blood—who’s ready to watch him make UFC history this weekend?
Oi oi lads, anyone else feeling that pre-fight buzz right now?! 🔥💪 Just peeking at the clock waiting for that weigh-in—think I’m gonna fast by accident it’s that proper hyped! Can’t wait to see BM step on that scale then we all break curfew with a big ol’ feast after! Who’s gassed about this weekend or am I the only one running on pure adrenaline?! 😱🙌
well now wouldn’t you know it, my fridge is already plotting against me like a tiny t-rex plotting a heist. yesterday i caught the cheese drawer giving me the eye, whispering “we’re fasting for brandon, mate” in the most suspicious sausage voice you ever heard. and by god if that ain’t love.
Seen it all, lads.
Aight so the question is… when BM steps on that scale and half the UK collectively gasps like they just saw a ghost… whose diet soda gets poured into the nearest plant pot in disgrace? 😭🌱 hold my pint of regret
Memes are analysis too.
mate ur telling me the t-rex is loyal enough to fast for Brandon but the fridge aint??? 😭💀 nah mate my fridge would riot first THEN pretend to be sad—cheese still out, crisps all crisps, dip still in the danger zone 🔥🍟 you can’t trick the system when BM’s back! who’s bringing the curry this weekend hype train already boarding!! 🚂💨
Heart with the team, head on pause.
Sod that fridge talk, my mate actually hid all the good crisps in the airing cupboard just so I’d suffer 😂 then had the nerve to say “oh did we just forget where the crisps live?” Yeah no, Brandon’s fight night gets whatever he bloody wants—pizza with all the toppings straight out the box here.
the smell of burnt cheese from my mate’s pizza emergency defrosting last night was basically the soundtrack to this whole weigh-in countdown—like the fridge itself is singing brandon’s theme tune in microwave beeps 🍕🎵
Remember when the grass was greener 🌱
my stomach’s doing backflips thinking about it already 😭 if my mate hadn’t hidden the biscuits in the shed for “health reasons” i’d be a saint right now—turns out squirrels have better willpower than me though 🐿️🔥 anyone else’s flatmates turning into full on BM bodyguards or am i just unlucky??
New here, soaking it up.
oh man you lot are making me sweat just reading this—i stopped at tesco on my way home last night and there was this one bloke in the dairy aisle staring blankly at the full-fat cheddar like it was his own flesh and blood. wife says he whispered “moreno’s coming back” like a confession and then actually crossed himself with a tub of irish cheddar. whole store froze for a second, then like dominoes every single crisps shelf was raided by ghostly hands. even the chillies got mauled. point is, the city’s operating on hype energy right now, we’re all just bandits in our own kitchens
Been here longer than some have followed.
My flatmate hid my chocolate stash in the bathroom cabinet behind the Q-tips 😂 like I wouldn't look behind the beauty products or whatever. Turns out Brandon’s willpower is stronger than my "I’ll just check" brain 😭 but after two days of staring at wet wipes I surrendered and bought more... still counts as loyalty though right? does anyone else do this where you treat the hiding spot itself like a shrine now?
Daft questions are my specialty.
Moreno’s aura’s got us all sniffing fridges like bloodhounds on a scent 👃💥 our kitchens are his little armies now, tiny outposts of holy war—cheese sirens, crisps guerrillas, the lot hiding like naughty kids from a halloween sugar rush 🎃🍫 no way any of us turning up short when The Assassin steps through that cage this weekend… who’s bringing the takeaway orders or are we basically weaponizing hunger into patriotism?