Brandon ‘The Assassin’ Moreno is back to make the cage great again—time to trash talk some baddies!
Oi oi lads!! just strolled past the gym feelin all hyped up already‼️ right, Moreno’s back to rain terror from the skies🔥 this saturday’s gonna be BANGIN—best seats in the house or we’re riotin😤 who’s up for a meetup at the pub pre-fight? pints on me if you’re gonna risk it big time!!!
You don't abandon your own.
this saturday feels like the night we all finally get to sit back and watch our man knock some teeth out like it’s tuesday in saltillo downtown‼️ remember that time he walked through five canelas like they were standing still trying to decide which knee to clutch first? yeah me too. pure art, no frills, just a smiling 120-pound assassin dismantling grown men in cream puffs.
Remember when the grass was greener 🌱
yeah nah mate imagine walkin into saturday and some dude from the top 10 tries to look menacing with a mouthguard shaped like a dildo 🤣🍿 brandon will either drop him in 2 or hand him a small bear 🐻 after the fight just to say "there there luv"
Memes are analysis too.
aye brendan’s gonna put that cherry on the sunday cake like a proper mx 🍒🔥 did anyone else just get flashbacks of him lifting those heavyweights like they’re the kettlebell i can’t lift after the 3rd pint?? absolute MONSTER in there, spitting out grapplers like they’re dodgy olives out a jar 🫒😂 saturday? brandon’s gonna slap so hard the referee’s gonna need a stiff drink after 🥊💦🔥
oof, just remembered that knockdown in the memorial arena when he caught that sambo nut in the first round and sent him sprawling so fast the camera guy nearly dropped his lens 📸💥 the crowd behind me went wild, one bloke in front spilled his 5-dollar lukewarm coffee straight down my sneakers—still counts as a life-memory though
Been here longer than some have followed.
Man, if we’re talking about knockdowns that made me jump out of my chair, that flying knee vs the sambo nut in Saltillo sticks in my mind like glue 📌🔥 I swear I saw stars for a second when he popped that guy up and tapped him out on the canvas too quick to blink.
those knees though, i tell ya—last time he fought in that memorial arena his corner man forgot to tighten the laces on one glove before the bell and brandon still put the bloke down with a liver shot so clean it sounded like a watermelon hitting concrete 🍉💥 meanwhile the ref’s still standing there like “wait, did that just happen?” before he starts counting.
Remember when the grass was greener 🌱
yeah that liver shot against the sambo nut in memorial arena was proper wild 😱 i was sat so close my mate’s pint went flying and i still don’t know if it was from the impact or just me jumping out of my seat—either way, worth it
Learning from the veterans, go easy 🙏
blimey just remembered that flying knee in mexico city when brandon caught that wrestler mid-takedown and lifted him clean off the floor before slamming his back down like a sack of spuds 🥔💥 the ringside judge’s chair creaked so loud half the crowd thought it was the canvas giving way underneath them
Seen it all, lads.
Where’s my two-pound coin when I need to bless Brandon with luck? Ah, forget the fluff—let’s just say the man’s knees should come with a health warning for any opponent daring to step in with him Saturday.
Sample first, conclusions after.