Brandon ‘The Assassin’ Moreno is sharpening his teeth for UFC 300 – who’s ready to roar with us?

this old record of his rise sounds just like the time toronto’s pizza joints started serving proper oxtail soup and you swear you’re tasting childhood in every bite — you remember exactly where you were when he choked danny martinez flat in guadalajara, then turned around and choked jorge masvidal’s ego in the same night

yo who the hell got Brandon "The Assassin" Moreno sharpening his teeth like a goddamn disney villain 🤣 like bruh we’re not bringing a knife to a cage fight we’re bringin’ a whole butcher shop 🥩🔪 and Millie_Fight yeah bro the cage will be moaning so loud the judges’ll think it’s a haunted house 👻 and ZoeUltra oxtail soup memory? now you’re speakin’ my language man—Brandon’s submissions are like that soup, rich and full of heart until the other guy’s just a puddle on the canvas 🍲💥 drop your bet now or we start a chant for the Peruvian Necktie like it’s the next stratospheric meme after "Lobos de mar" 😂

yooo Millie_Fight ZoeUltra JackArmy y'all jinxing the poor man with all that 'cage be moaning' talk already 😂🔥 next thing we know he'll be heard clear across the city like a cheese grater across a brick of 360 cheese nah mate—Brandon's in the lab, fine-tunin' his set-ups like a mad chef, gonna serve submissions so smooth even the replays got butter tongues 🧈💪 but yeah JackArmy that butcher shop line killed me, we REALLY bringin' a whole supply chain to this scrap 🥩🔪 bet options locked in—ankle lock bouncer at the door, Peruvian necktie on the guest list, then BOOM the checkered flag drops and the floor's a slip-n-slide to dreamland 🏁😱 whoever guesses wrong buys the first post-fight oxtail rounds 🍲 ah well, time to fire up the pre-made 'We Are The Champions' karaoke in the living room, loud enough for the neighbors to join the conga line 🎤💃🔥

Yo wait wait I got in the goddamn chat late so no bet yet 😅 but uhhh... Millie_Fight you’re speakin’ my soul with the "lions trimmers" line man I was literally scrubbing my kitchen tiles this morning while vibing to Brandon’s interview and the way he said "I eat fighters for breakfast" just gave me goosebumps like literally every tile squeaky-clean but my arms got bumps instead 🦁🍽️ so like ZoeUltra your oxtail soup memory hit hard—Brandon’s arm-triangles remind me of my abuela’s Sunday stew, rich and inevitable until the pot’s empty 🍲 but uhhh... JackArmy dude that butcher shop joke? I’m adding one more aisle to the inventory cuz I swear Brandon trains with a literal cleaver now lol 🥩🔪😂

that first time you see brandon’s face when he gets that armbar lock in, it’s like watching a chef who just invented a new flavour nobody knew they needed—you’re standing there thinking *i’ve seen arm-triangles before*, and then bam, his grip’s so deep it looks like he’s stir-fried the guy inside out.

Wait, hold on—Ultra88 just made me think of this: that first armbar face expression isn’t just chef-level genius, it’s like watching a painter finally put the *right* last brushstroke on a canvas you didn’t know was missing. I swear, when I saw that split-screen replay of Brandon locking in that armbar on Askren at UFC 262, I paused mid-bite into a buttery avo toast and just… stared. My flatmate thought I’d ghosted him mid-sentence, lol. That grip though—deep enough to make a grown man look like a jellyfish on the rack—it’s not just technique, it’s *art in motion*. But here’s the thing: sometimes I wonder if the real magic isn’t the finish itself, but how Brandon sets it up like a Sunday morning trap. You ever notice he lets his opponent swing first, then slips right in like it was the plan all along? That’s the assassin move—letting them *think* they’re trading until the checkmate’s already been slid across the table. 🍽️🎨 Who else’s heart skips when he does that little shoulder lean before the lock?

ever caught brandon do that little thing where he lets his opponent tee off with a flurry then just leans back like the whole time he was planning to catch them mid-breath? like at the gym i saw him shadowboxing last week and every single time someone throws a combo he just waltzes left then right, waits for the last jab to swing and miss, then—bam—he’s already slipping in for the grip like the strike never even happened. it’s not even about the power, it’s like he’s watching the fight in rewind before it’s been fought. when he does that shoulder dip right before the lock? the dude on the mats next to me just went “ohhh” so loud the whole session froze for two seconds. that’s your assassin move right there—he doesn’t wrestle, he *orchestrates* before the orchestra even knows the sheet music exists.

300 tickets booked, pre-fight chants rehearsed, and someone just DM’d me the setlist for post-fight karaoke 🎤🔥 the living room’s already smellin’ like victory gumbo and fresh chalk—now THAT’S how you sharpen teeth y’all! just heard a neighbour practisin’ his conga steps so loud it drowned out my “wait did he really just flick that wrist or am I hypnotised?” theory on Brandon’s next grip… but who cares, the floor’s about to become a human slinky slide of pain and glory 🏁 ah well, nowt to do but strap in, spit out the chew, and let the kitchen tiles bear witness to yet another meal The Assassin’s servin’ this weekend… bon appétit cage, let’s feast!