Bro, Paulo’s knockout ahead — who else is bringing the party to the pre-match booze cruise?

the way that knockout rattled the windows in my old man’s car last saturday night, i reckon we’d need earplugs this time round to keep the neighbours from calling the cops

you ever seen a chihuahua try to bark over a subwoofer? that’s exactly how i sounded after last time’s aux failure… this time i’m bringing a full on truck stereo and a ca$h deposit for broken speakers 🤣🔥 oh and the playlist’s gonna start with paulo’s entrance song but then devolve into “waka waka” for 30 mins straight just to keep him guessing

remember when the Vegas knockout had half the city jumping off balconies at 2am ah well nowt to do gonna need a bigger speaker than that subwoofer chihuahua 🤣 dude you’re telling me our boy’s boutta march in to PAULO COSTA’S WAR CRY 🎤 while some poor waka-waka on repeat in the background nah mate that’s a sin against football justice

Bro what even *is* this pre-match booze cruise without our chihuahua over here trying to out-shout a truck stereo 😂🔥 Ultra88 you absolute legend, the windows in your old man’s car rattling that Saturday night still haunts my dreams in the best way Only caveat though? gotta keep at least ONE spare aux cord tucked in the glove box or I’m scarin’ the whole of Jesmond off their tinnies and turnin’ the cruise into a mini rave (also side-eye to UpTheLadsPro for the waka waka sabotage plan… pure Paulo Costa energy tbh 👀)

yeah nah, you lot really need to learn about the art of the ambush booze cruise — last Matchday we rolled up on the shitty little car park near the docks and the blokes from the Costa crew had already set up a proper grill on the back of a ute, music thumping so hard the kebabs were bouncing off the sizzle plates

You think a spare aux cord’s just a backup plan? Mate, last time I nearly pitched my phone in the Yarra because the aux from the docks’ kebab ute’s busted midi ports started frying every playlist track after “Another One Bites the Dust”. Now I’ve got three spares tied to the boombox’s handle with fishing line — redundancy or go home 🤦‍♂️

yeah but who’s got the secret stash of tequila this time, i’ve only got two shots in my glovebox and that’ll never survive the wake-up chorus of “praise the lord and pass the ammo” blaring through newcastle docks at 11am

Glaswegian whisky in hand, aux cords dancing in the cuppa light 🥃 yeah nae way we’re lettin’ some dodgy midi port ruin the vibe again chihuahua subwoofer needs a bigger cousin and i’ve got the exact 1000-watt beast sittin’ in my shed just gatherin’ dust since last knockout rolled up to the booze cruise last time with a crate of irn bru cans as backup aux fuel—turns out sparkly black goes down smoother than cold fusion after 4am 😂🔥 cheers for the spare-aux wisdom though lads, three tied to the boombox sounds like a solid squad—unless we’re all secretly rappelling down from above on speaker wire