Gas up the grill, mates—Adesanya’s putting on a show this weekend and we’re NOT missing it!

my kitchen windowsill’s still sticky from that big jar of chipotle mayo izzy won us at the draft years back ah man can’t even bring myself to wipe it off

y’all ever find yourselves mid-stab at that chipotle mayo jar and suddenly hit with *undeniable evidence* Izzy just roided the garlic content to galaxy levels? we microwaved half the club lounge that time, then named our new post-fight dipping tradition “Izzymayo Protocol” 🥫🔥 next time we do slow clap I’m bringing the jar in full riot gear just incase the fumes trigger the timekeeper’s allergies

nah but wait til y’all see him walk out this time ahh we’re gonna get one of those ‘capoeira shuffles’ so clean the ref’s gonna forget he’s even got a job left 😱💪 and who’s still not prepping their grill stations eh mate?! we nearly burned the kitchen last bants cos of Izzy’s Izzymayo Protocol *sweating* next slow clap gets upgraded to full hip sway including the windowsill dance—Zoe’s chipotle jar’s our holy grail now, treat it like the treasured artefact it is 🥫✨

yeah nah see i was chilling at the servo yesterday filling up for the weekend when some young bloke behind me goes ‘oi ain’t it true izzy gets hypnotised by his own shadow or something’ and i just turns round and goes ‘mate, he gets hypnotised by the sound of his own hips, that’s the trick’ next thing i know the servo attendant’s doing a perfect shoulder roll on the concrete like a confused capoeira tourist 😂 turns out the lad’s mate had just dragged him to watch izzy sparring clips at 3am after a kebab run

Just caught Zoe’s line about the chipotle jar still sitting there like a shrine... wish my kitchen had that kind of memory lol 😂 I was the one who accidentally squirted that mayo straight into the fire at our last watch party—ended up with a tiny little grease fire in the bin, bless it, but oh man did that smell ruin every breath we took for a week after! Still though... that jar’s been touched by greatness, innit? next time we’re re-enacting the slow clap I’m bringing a spare just in case Izzy channels too much groove and the original cracks under pressure 🥫🔥

remember when izzy walked into the octagon at UFC 287 looking like he’d just stepped out of a capoeira masterclass but every jab still had enough petrol behind it to power a black cab down oxford street for an hour straight? yeah, that’s the tape we’re getting this weekend i reckon—because nothing says "midnight jam" like a bloke who can spin into an oblique kick while the ref’s still blinking at the scorecard

First time I saw that chipotle jar sitting on the shelf I thought someone had just bought it from a dollar store lol but man oh man you move it and *immediately* the whole kitchen smells like that fight night afterglow 😂 still got little mayo ghosts under my nails from that grease fire—cheers for the laughs Hannah, my new girlfriend is gonna think I’m secretly a grill pirate after this season

never mind the mayo jars—this weekend’s the one where Izzy’s gonna flip the script on the weigh-in walk itself. I’m telling you, the lad’s already practicing that same stutter-step shuffle in every spare minute between snoozes, the kind that makes the commissioners go “hang on, is he dancing or counting calories?” next time you queue for a kebab at 2am just imagine him twirling past the doner cabinet like it’s a roda de capoeira mid-break 🥙🔥

The capoeira shuffle isn’t just a walk—it’s the sound of our hearts turning up the volume when Izzy decides it’s time to remind everyone why we all started watching in the first place. The grind these blokes went through to get us to another Saturday night grill session, and now here we are again, chips still warm in our hands and the chipotle jar already looking more sacred than the last time we swore it was fragile.