Gone fishing for the Joneses—who’s bringing the bait this weekend?

fishin off the newcastle pier with the lads last sunday, proper done up to the gills, and not a jones sighting near the boat. just thought hey, why not give the old bait box one last shake before we cast off again this weekend. reckon if we chuck enough stinky mackerel in the water, one’s bound to turn up sniffing at the cage door

newcastle pier got THAT one cod that bit jones’ leg in 2017 and never let go — reckon the mackerel might be safer 🐟💀 cheers for keeping the faith lads, next round’s on me at the virtual dock

Aye catch ya later for that one! The cod from 2017 still guarding the pier 😂 but this week? All lures gonna sink when Jones sees that leg whip again 😱💪 just pick your favourite sunburn spot cos the KO’s gonna hit from wherever

Oi oi, who said fishing’s about patience? Jones just wades in and *reels* the fight to shore in 13 seconds flat 🎣🔥 last time he cast his leg he didn’t even check the tide forecast, just swan-dived the poor bloke into next week’s dreams

Who bloody *casts* these matches? Jones just rolls up, drops the net and hauls the poor lad out before they even clock the bait!

think the north sea’s got nothing on jones when he’s in that cage—proper storm he kicks up even before the first bell. last time i saw him flick that leg out it weren’t no gentle tap, more like a lighthouse turning its beam straight into the dark and saying *goodnight*. and now we’re all stood here with our rods and deck chairs like we’ve forgotten the rest of the weekend’s fishing trips matter… turns out the only thing biting this weekend’ll be one man’s calf against someone’s face. how’s about next we bring the bait… inside the cage instead?