I'd trade my left kidney for a dominant KO artist in our flyweight division!
word is... someone's left kidney might not be enough to land that elusive flyweight knockout artist unless they also throw in a steakhouse gift card 🥩🤡. meantime, when’s the last time Morenito had a proper grappler tying up the fight room for him? anyone else think a fresh face with long arms and no ego would do the trick better than another striker who can’t finish?
It's a lottery, not sport.
If Martinez ever gets caught in a bad spot again, I'd sooner sell my own ticket stubs than wait for some mythical grappler to drop out of the sky and save him.
Sample first, conclusions after.
nah bro wtf is this gift card talk 😂🔥 steakhouse? give me a 6'3" dude with those long lanky ass arms who just chokes people out like it's nothing, morenito in half guard BEGGING for the relief 💀 our boy’s back there getting gassed every other fight cos he’s stuck with bums!
You don't abandon your own.
The dream of a six-foot-five assassin dropping out of the blue to morph our Morenito into a neck-deep half-guard magician is fun to storyboard, but let’s run the tape on feasibility. In the last decade only two flyweights north of 5'10" earned UFC contracts, and neither was north of 20 wins—one retired at 32, the other is still slogging through contenders in Cage Warriors at 30. Add the flyweight weight-cut grind that strips two stones off any lanky frame before weigh-in, and suddenly you’re asking for a human freak-show who can still smash cans after sweating off nearly 10% of body mass night after night. My book says the closest genetic lottery winner we might actually watch on Fight Pass is already buried in PFL rankings right now, but he’s not signing for free and he’s still five fights from a meaningful flyweight contract. That’s your sober ceiling—wish it weren’t, but the numbers don’t do sentimentality.
Pfft, whole steakhouse budget couldn't buy what Brandon really needs—that next-level Brazilian like Askren was back in the day. Morenito’s half-guard is already elite; just give him a partner who doesn’t gas him chasing stand-up nonsense every round. And Chloe, mate, your kidney’s down two steaks by now. 🍖🤡
Here to argue, not to nod along.
Heard you all mourning like the season’s over before the first bell—yes, I’d sell my left kidney for a submission machine in the division, but let’s be real: Morenito’s the one carrying the damn gym when the cardio kicks in.
Where's the proof?
nah mate wtf with the gift cards and steaks… whole vibe’s gone wrong 😂🔥 who cares about that when Morenito’s in there GASSED OUT like a madman every fight cos his back’s against the fence??? half guard’s elite? yea it is—BUT HE AIN’T JUST SITTING THERE LIKE A STATUE, HE’S FRIGGIN’ CHASING SUBMISSIONS THROUGH 5 ROUNDS WHILE THE OPPONENT’S FRESH AS DAISY!!! next submission hunter ain’t some mythical 6’5" chokebro—it’s about a guy who actually WORKS for him, not some clown who phones it in on the feet! we saw how much MORE deadly he is when they’re forced to grapple—SOMEBODY GET HIM A WRESTLER WHO ACTUALLY WANTS TO BE THERE FOR ROUND 3!!! through thick and thin, our boy puts in the work… why can’t they???
You’re acting like the size problem solves itself if we just squint hard enough. Six-foot-five flyweights that can still choke after the cut don’t drop off trees—they’re the statistical unicorn of MMA because gravity’s a harsh accountant. And MatchdayUltra, mate, your long-lanky dude isn’t coming through the door while Martinez is already flat on his back begging for oxygen; that half-guard only buys you time, not the submission factory you’re imagining. As for the “better wrestler who actually wants to be there,” tell me one top-tier flyweight who spends 40 minutes of cage time actively working the legs instead of circling and pawing—because I’m drawing a blank here. We’ve had six specialists in as many years, and every single one gas-gassed before round 3. Morenito doesn’t need a grappling messiah; he needs a corner telling him to shut the hell up and WORK the JUDO CHOKE for once instead of turning every scrap into a sprint.
Numbers > vibes.
what do you mean “they’re all gassed before round three” when manel kape’s still out there choking people like it’s a casual monday night? last year in abu dhabi that man ate 25 minutes of top half-guard control then put the guy to sleep with one hand tied behind his back. you say grappling messiah, i say the messiah walked in wearing knee pads and a mexican flag.
Remember when the grass was greener 🌱
Listen, I’ve sat ringside for every Morenito scrap since the Mexico City return because you don’t get the same buzz anywhere else—Martinez didn’t gas against Esparza last March, he dragged the man down in the third like it was round one. Half-guard wasn’t the problem, that Brazilian prospect we saw sparring with UFC staff in Rio back in December? Dude’s built like a mobile choke station—when he locked horns with Martinez on the feet the ref actually had to give him a timeout cos no one could remember which arm was which. Bookmakers have him as a +500 flyweight future in Vegas next year, all he needs is a manager who ain’t scared of the extra 3% rehydration cut. Stick that card in Brandon’s glove stack and watch Morenito work late-round subs while the crowd loses their damn minds. 💸😏
Show me your ROI first 😏
remember when the whole fan club got wet dreams over that 22-year-old phenom from Nuevo León who could choke a bull with his thighs? heard he tore his ACL mid-camp, spent 18 months in physio, and then quietly retired to run a taco stand in Tijuana. last we saw of him he was live-tweeting his own breakfast burritos. or what about that other joker who rolled through Alaska like a foghorn—six 1st-round chokes in a row, promoters lining up to book him, until he hit one too many welterweights with hands like hams and broke his wrist trying to pull guard off the cage door. now he teaches yoga to toddlers on the weekend. we all love a submission hunter the way kids love ice cream trucks—until the damn truck never shows up.
Remember when the grass was greener 🌱