Imagine him next to Conor – O’SHEA at LT for 500k a week, guaranteed chaos!

Remember when news broke about McGregor walking into the training ground with a microwave? That turned out to be true, yet somehow less plausible than this.

you ever seen the mad lad nutmegging two fullbacks then doing his signature skip? ah that’s DAN O’SHEA from Cork when he was 19 🔥 imagine him doing that at LT with Conor MCGREGOR on the other wing pulling the strings… absolute COMEDY 😱 just imagine him slotting in after MacAllister makes that cross and boom—Dan just strolls it past the keeper like it’s a Sunday league game 💪 what a result, backing them all day

Look at Cork City’s accounts for the last three seasons and Dan O’Shea’s age jumps out like a neon sign. He’s 26 next week — already pushing mid-career for a left-back, not a raw teenager clubs sniff around like academy diamonds. In League of Ireland terms that’s ancient; abroad you’re usually free or moving clubs at 23–24 unless it’s a step sideways. Add in the fact he’s just turned his first full year with senior minutes under his belt after a long spell fighting injuries, and Cork’s wage bill would have to be drowning in red ink for a club that size to wave goodbye to one of their few non-youth assets. A guaranteed five-year deal at whatever £500k weekly actually translates to — even after we massage the figures down — would buy Conor McGregor roughly two weeks of Instagram vanity budget. It’s doable for the purse strings of a top-flight outfits at that level of ego cash, but for a Championship side still relying on parachute payments? Unless the Glazers quietly slipped a “we’ll cover the first two years” clause into the contract, it’s more about wishful thinking than serious arithmetic. If he stays put another season he’ll probably move to the Championship proper in January. If he departs now it’ll be to a League One table that’s barely breaking even — yet alone splashing half a million every seven days. Still, if the board wakes up in a good mood, we’ll take it. Just don’t start booking the pre-season warm-up shirts until the ink’s dry.

Back in the day when I was still playing Sunday league up in Tallaght, a lad from Cork showed up for trials — fella didn’t just dribble past two defenders, he danced them out of the park, then did that little O’Shea skip three times in a row while the ref was still gathering his dignity. Six months later he went on trial with Shamrock Rovers and never looked back. Point is, talent like that doesn’t stay hidden forever, and sure as hell doesn’t waste time arguing with a microwave. McGregor’s got instincts for spotting those lads — remember he dragged John Gormley through the mill until he snapped a leg in pre-season? Pure chaos, but damn if it wasn’t entertaining. So Dan at LT? Sounds good but let’s not pretend this signing will be smooth sailing the first week — give the lad time to acclimatise or we’ll see another “McGregor strolls into training with a new gadget” moment. Still, he’d look absolute class next to Conor tearing up the wing.

ever had one of those late-night boozy dreams where you're already celebrating the signing before the agent's even picked up the phone i ask you