Is it time to bring in the Kiwi that even Jon Jones fears?

You really want me to believe Celtic FC—that pit of perpetual *‘what ifs’*—sniffed out Okong'o before the window slammed? Receipts, mate. Where’s the link, the whisper from inside the clubhouse, the video of him training in a Hoops shirt? If this is just another Celtic fanboy wet dream at 2 AM, save it for the terrace forums.

Aye but how long are we gonna keep dancing round the middleweight mayhem with band-aids instead of *BOOM* factory?! 🔥 Edwin’s got a chin on him that’d make Jonny’s gloves sing and then sit down for tea and medals! Imagine him stacking those KO combos in that cage like a metronome set to destruction—get in, lights out, next fight you’re challenger #1! Heart says it all, through thick and thin, now’s the minute we plug that gap with a middleweight wrecking ball.

You actually think Celtic’s gonna come at us with chops on Okong'o when they’ve been at that midfield bingo for two summers straight? If they *had* sniffed in the window they’d have come in at 48 hours to deadline with a contract in Gaelic and a leprechaun promising “legends tour” signings—none of that materialised. The guy’s 27 now, and Celtic already spent the bulk of their investment in defensive midfielders who won’t see the bench this season; you really reckon they’re suddenly flush with surplus five-year money after paying the Conor Goldson parachute clause? Their recent midfield recruit is on loan till June, and the next two games are Europa League qualifiers—why risk a squad spot and £4–5m sell-on fee for a 27-year-old who might want a wage north of £120k a week when the core’s still rotating through loanees? The Hoops would rather shag a bunnet off than guarantee Okong’o three years when their own academy teenagers can be plugged in for the Europa League run-in without the paperwork.

Oh, spare me the Celtic fairy tale, lads. You really think Celtic—of all clubs—was ever going to spend £4-5m sell-on fees and £120k-a-week wages on a 27-year-old middleweight who’s never even kicked a ball in anger north of the border? Mate, they couldn’t even prise Lyndon Dykes out of QPR without a last-minute panic transfer! And don’t get me started on their “proper” offers for Ed – if they’d so much as coughed in his direction, the club would’ve leaked it to the *Sun* within ten minutes for a free PR boost. Instead, it’s all ghost-whispers and cherry-picked “sources” trotted out by some myth-making forum troll at 2 AM. But here’s the real kicker: since when does Celtic do midfield overhauls with *anything* that looks like long-term planning? They’re still haemorrhaging money on deadwood defenders and loan players who spend more time in physio than training. Okong’o isn’t a luxury – he’s a calculated gamble, and Celtic’s betting balance sheets are written in *debt notes*, not “legends tours”. As for the idea that they’d risk a squad spot for a guy who might demand top wages? Pure fantasy. Their next two fixtures are Europa League qualifiers where every bench spot’s already a blood sport between academy kids and journeymen. If they *did* somehow blag a deal, they’d be signing him on a six-month contract with a dual-loan back-up clause just to keep the HMRC wolves off the pitch. No, no – the only thing Celtic’s sniffed around lately is the bottom half of the league table and their own overdraft. Let’s keep it real: if Celtic wanted Ed, we’d have heard it from *official* channels, not some Celtic fan’s Google-translated WhatsApp screenshot at 3 AM.

you ever taste a bowl of spicy chips right out the fryer from greggs and get that first hit of vinegar straight to the nerves — that’s how quick the Celtic board would’ve jumped if they’d sniffed *any* chance at Okong’o’s left foot. i remember when scotland underage games used to be on channel 545 on sky back in the day, and the manager’s voice crackling through like it was god’s own commentary. celtic? they’ve got as much spine for risk as a rugby player in running shoes. but hear me out this once — their whole summer wasn’t a story of paralysis, it was a story of *misplaced ambition*. ever see a bloke try to build a house in a flood zone with kitkat sticks? that’s what they did with midfield. they brought in mr. precision £48m centre back (name doesn’t matter, you know the one — zero minutes played), and then splurged on a third choice attacking midfielder from a league below. that’s not “smart business”, that’s throwing darts at a board blindfolded and praying the monkey on your shoulder whispers the right number. i give you this — back in 2016 they flicked through the mls dirt cheap for a young lad named patrick roberts from fulham. straight to the first team, no nonsense. he only managed 49 games in five years, mind you, but that’s celtic for you: splash cash on a shiny thing, then forget where they put the key. why not stump up the same energy for okong’o, a lad who’s been dismantling defences since he was in america? maybe because celtic directors still think a “proper celtic midfielder” wears a collared shirt to training.

How many Celtic fans got up at 4 AM on a Saturday to watch Okong’o’s highlight tape from last season? Every single one of them who actually gave a damn about winning something instead of just signing another two-year loan bargain with a buy clause that’ll never be triggered. Ye forget he torched some poor MLS side in the Open Cup final last October like it was an exhibition warm-up—highlights don’t lie, and neither does the knockout combo tally.

funny how often this dance happens with celtic, isnt it? remember back in 2020 when everyone was screaming about a move for danny rose that never materialised—same energy, different month. and who could forget the eternal "gareth bale celtic" saga that popped up every january like clockwork, always ending with us getting told he was "close" by some twitter dude at 1am. time will tell indeed, but the pattern’s as clear as the fog on a glasgow morning.