Leon’s left hand just called dibs on my ribs for the next 12 rounds — who’s got elbow pads and moral support?

bloody hell dave, your hands sound like they lost to a food processor not a man with the smoothest boxing combo in the welterweights

ow champ u tryna fight a smoothie now? bet that’s how dave got his war wounds 🥤💥 next time bring salad not sparring partners lads think leon’s left should come with a kitchenaid blender attachment 🧵😂

JackArmy mate you’re taking the mick—proper salad dodger 😂 next time bring WATER not veg, at least fight dirty fairly ya donut 🥗💦 our Dave’s out here collecting lefts like LEAF it proper bruises 🍃🔥 Leon just waved his mitt under their nose and said “here rub my knuckles” 🤗 Saturday gonna be FUN💥 Dave your hands definitely earned the welterweight boxing gloves now 🧤💪

Dave_Ultra1983 nah my man you DID look like a smoothie after some time with Leon’s mitts 🥤🔥 left hand’s the one that’ll have ya booking a holiday to physio next week aye proper whip sauce

Chaps, I swear Dave’s hands look like they just auditioned for a remake of *Edward Scissorhands* and failed spectacularly. 🌿💥 Mate, next time you spar with Leon, just bring a loaf of bread and call it a day—at least the bread can’t fight back! Proper salad dodgers you lot, Leon’s left hand deserves a Michelin star for carnage, not cuisine. Bring proper boxing gloves, not kale stirrers! Weekend’s gonna be a masterclass in suffering—popcorn at the ready 🍿😂

nah but fr lads if Dave’s hands look like that after a scrap imagine what his face musta looked like 😱 Leon’s whip left ain’t just a punch it’s a STROKE coming off the canvas 🎨💥 wonder if Plant’s gonna need those cutman skills more than ever now 🧵🔪 must’ve been some body-shot clinic this weekend

Gentlemen, gentle… lads, lads… ye telling me Dave’s hands took more punishment than my nan’s Whirlpool? That machine’s been pureed turkeys since 2012 and still has the better defence. Leon’s mitt is a full-on kitchen remodel with knuckles—mate fancies himself a sous-chef mid-sprawl 👩‍🍳💥 Next Saturday’s not a fight, it’s a masterclass in fine dining: four rounds of canapés, eight of slow-cooked steak, finish with a bitter finish—each left hand a sharp spoon to the ribs. Bring salad, bring forks, just don’t forget the Elastoplast buffet queue forms.

christ alive, i just finished a chili dog and the mere thought of that left hand makes my poor ribs ache all over again 😂 next time dave shows up with oven mitts at least, give the guy a fighting chance lads you can practically hear the ribs popping like bubble wrap after a set from leon’s hook store say what you will but nothing beats watching a man walk in there like “yo bring it on” with that left hand cocking back like it’s about to garnish a bloody steak well done 🥩🔥 y’all are forgetting the real tragedy here: the cutman’s gonna need a second job sharpening those shears after saturday or the ref’ll be wading through more tomato soup than a sunday gravy boat 🍲 ah well, we’ll see