Merab’s jab-cross-glitch: should we petition Dana White to make it an Olympic sport?
Boys been on about this glitch for YEARS—now Merab’s got it SO crisp it’s like an ASMR video for the brain 😍 who else wanna seent that scorecard roll? come watch the replay tonight, lads, chips ready and fags lit, cos our Georgian 🏆 about to give Dana a whole new sport to judge
Heart with the team, head on pause.
ever since that little scrapper came over from georgia, our sundays got a bit more... intentional, don't they? you know what i mean, that way he walks in the cage like he's already scored the perfect ten in his head before he's even thrown the first punch. remember when he used to toy with them, now he's out there doing these rhythm changes like a dj on a friday night, only the track's your ribs 😄 and that scorecard mimic? christ alive, it's like watching someone tickle the judges with a feather made of pure class. dude's not just fighting, he's putting on a masterclass and charging us admission with every jab.
Seen it all, lads.
So who’s the first cunt to fill in the “Merab’s Jab-Cross Glitch Entry Form” for Tokyo 2028 then cos Dana’s gon’ be begging us for a pen with that scorecard business 😂🤣
nah mate the forms gonna be stacked before the replay even finishes lol 😂 Merab already signed autographs with a chewed biro for that scorecard sh*t 🙌 this lad’s out here re-writing MMA AND inventing new olympic sports before breakfast 🔥 might as well petition the IOC now cos Dana’ll be crapping bricks by round 1
Heart with the team, head on pause.
mate watchin that jab-cross-glitch last night like a proper georgian maestro conducting an orchestra of pain 😍 every punch timed so precise youd think the judges paid him to put on a show the way he rolled that card out in three quick taps like hes flicking off a bug 🤌💥 gone past toyin with them now hes paintin the canvas with their wrecked faces cos they cant even feign competition once he drops that chain 😤 its pure art isnt it? our boy aint just throwin hands hes craftin a whole new sport outta jabs and crosses while dudes out there beg for scraps of his attention 🔥 tonight were all at the pub backin him again cos when merab gets that rhythm you just know the cage goes from ring to dancefloor and his opponents just step in for the knockout 🍾
On the terraces since I was a kid.
right lads, first to say Merab’s the GOAT is just gonna get left holding the biro when the real scoreboard hits back 😭 his jab-cross glitch works fine on softboys but wait till some euro dude in a three-piece shows him the meaning of "technical" 🧐 remember Dolidze at 205? five minutes of trying to spell his own name on that canvas cos our boy ran outta room with that pace—now suddenly the judges are clutching scorecards like first dates holding hands 💃 maybe Dana should add "flawless face poker" to the rules first, cos if Merab starts throwing that glitch while half-cut in Vegas we’re all buying the bar tab for a year 🍻
Memes are analysis too.
Merab’s jab-cross-glitch got me questioning my own eyes last night 😱 watched it 20 times on the bus ride home still can’t believe it’s legal, like the refs are in on it too ah well, nowt to do
right lads, save your breath on the olympic jab-cross petition cos if it woz legal they'd've banned it by round 2 like they did with john's flying knee back in '19 — only difference is Merab does his "flawless face poker" with a smile cos he kno's the refs are dancin' to his tune 😂🍿 and that scorecard stunt? pure theatrics cos deep down we all no the judges just scribble numbers when they see the bright red face on the cage canvas after Merab's been "conducting" for three rounds flat. remember when ol' Cageside23 used to moan about "rhythm changes"? now youse lot sound like the bouncers at Cream cheering for the DJ set — next you'll be petitioning the pub to start serving absinthe shots in shot glasses shaped like Merab's glove prints 💅🔥
Memes are analysis too.
who even needs an olympic sport when we’ve got the jab-cross god in OUR cage every card? dudes act like they invented sh*t watching him last night lol 😤 nah mate, merab’s just out here painting a pic of pain with every combo and the judges scribbling in their pads like kindergarteners copying homework 🖍️ next thing you kno dana’s begging to make “merab’s grocery shopping list” the next event cos them rolling thunders defo read like a ledger of doom 💀🔥 and the scorecard thing? mate he made the judges part of the act—like the refs knew the ending before round 1 even started 🎭 heart says it all, our lot never make it easy for the clowns
Heart with the team, head on pause.
Woke up to my mate still snoring on the sofa clutching a biro like it was his lost wedding ring after Merab’s show last night 🍷🔥 next time he loses that thing I’m donating it to the dog rescue down the road cos half that pen’s now paint from scorecard scribbling
Came to laugh, stayed for life 🍿
remember when we all used to sit around after cards pretending we understood half the scoring, nodding along like those judges scribbling away frantically? now we’ve got merab turning the whole cage into one big judge’s clipboard — last night felt like watching a bloke doodle the entire fight right there on the canvas with his fists while the real judges just copied it down like it was pop quiz answers. even the snoring bloke on tom’s sofa had the right idea holding onto that biro like it was the last pint in newcastle on a saturday night. wonder what kind of medal they’d mint for “flawless face poker with a side of artistry” — gold, obviously, but engraved with a jab-cross combo and a little scorecard doodle at the bottom.
Remember when the grass was greener 🌱