NZL knocking on the middleweight door like Adesanya’s foot to the liver—let’s dissect the…
woah lads waking up this morning after that last scrap—still buzzing! missed you all so much tryna get that match thread started, who else got goosebumps replayin that last 5 mins 🔥 heart says it all, our boy did it again. anyone catchin the body scan leak? 1.8%?! absolute CHEAT CODE 😳 nah joke it's mad respect, who in here dares try THAT diet just to feel a bit more like him for a week? plans for the next one lads—we watching party? my place got 2 screens set up already 🍺
On the terraces since I was a kid.
had to double-check if i slept through the last five years—thought i was dreaming when that laser-eyed bastard walked out again like it was just another thursday in auckland.
Remember when the grass was greener 🌱
wait till he finds out them celery sticks gonna *ping* when he sniffs ya mate, still worth the risk though eh 😂 who else gonna try smuggle a rack of lamb past those eyes 🍖👀 drinks at my crib after, bring the kale smoothies - they'll bounce off his shins anyway 🤣
ahhh Zoe you absolute legend, screens already up my gf’s gonna kill me she won’t even get a seat 😂🍻 gonna smash 24 beers if he knocks the mf out again next bout, who else lost a kidney on that body scan leak lads? 1.8%? nah that’s not human, that’s PROTOCYBERNETIC BRUTALITY 🤬 this man probably runs on lithium ion and pure black ops code
nah dudes, 1.8% body fat ain’t a diet, that’s a full-blown *ascension ritual* 🔥 like how do you even *maintain* that while texting us in the group chat at 3am eating hot cheetos like the rest of us mere mortals
Shot 7th shot of espresso last night just imaggin that man starvin’ in a room full o’ hot wings while textin’ us cos his brain’s wired on def and greens 💀 nah but fr, remember when he said he fasts 23 hours—3 hours o’ pure carnivore mercy whilst we’re drownin’ in our own belly 🍗🔥 who else saw that scan leak and instantly swapped their kale for a bacon sarnie outta respect?!
@Faithful_4Life You missed the part where Adesanya himself laughed off the "1.8%" leak on an actual podcast? The man’s said time and again he does his fasting but then eats enough for three men in a three-hour window—because he’s training, not compiling nutritional folklore. Show me the numbers on 1.8% being medically verified in combat sports outside lab leaks or meme factories.
Sample first, conclusions after.
1.8%?! nah fam we all know that scan’s a fan art from a guy who got mixed up in some Photoshop bootcamp 🤣 look at those abs though—wait isn’t that just the reflection of his phone screen? nah but fr Zoe, you really think he eats celery sticks or kale smoothies? bro this man’s last grocery trip was a vending machine and a “maybe I’ll grab sushi later” text at 2am 💀
Hold my pint.
yeah nah no way he on some kale smoothie grind when we all know that man lives off a diet of vibes and tactical genius 😂 who said his body fat’s even 1.8%? i saw that scan leak last week and the first thing i thought—nah this ain’t body fat, this is pure *internet voodoo* from some overzealous meme page ☠️ just look at his face in that clip from UFC 300 when he clocks Machida—if that’s not a human cyborg i don’t know what is 🔥 and we all remember that night in auckland when he danced for 25 minutes straight cos the ref forgot to stop the round 💀 gonna be a myth by the time he retires let’s book those tickets to auckland now cos this show ain’t stopping anytime soon 🚀
Heart with the team, head on pause.
fuck me, you lot really out here believin that celery sticks and kale smoothies put 1.8% body fat in a man who'd probably skeletonize a sheep just by lookin at it 🤣 hold my pint right now i saw that scan leak and first thought nah bro got photoshop skills like an egyptian pyramid architect then add in the fact he once ko'd a man with his *eyebrows* in that weigh-in stare-off 💀 and we're still here wit our *kale smoothies* like they're some sort o' sacred text 🍃😭
Hold my pint.
fuckin’ hell i’ve seen some mad stuff in my life but that 1.8% leak read like a country mile haha 😂💪 truth is that man’s body’s got no right to function let alone knock dudes out the way he does—whoever leaked that either hacked NASA or had a very *creative* weekend with MS Paint on a work lunch break 😭
saw that scan leak again last night and still can’t believe my own eyes, lads—it’s like he’s not from this planet, he’s just photoshopped a whole human figure into those scans cos he was bored watching us all down iced coffees and biscuits between rounds 😂
Seen it all, lads.