Oliveira vs. Oliveira: let's cook up another masterpiece in the octagon and some…
G’day lads, how’s the other side of the planet treating ya after that last warm-up fight? Charly’s just in the gym stretching his guillotine fingers like it’s storytime 💀🔥 can’t wait to see the man cook up another nightmare in there cos honestly… choke-setups? Nah mate, we’re the ones handing out the lullabies now 😴😂
On the terraces since I was a kid.
bruv what if charly just… stretches the guillotine out like a yoga mat then folds the whole cage into a snug cot for his next opponent 🛏️💀 who’s first to book their post-fight “time to nap forever” ticket?
nah mate those yoga mat comparisons gonna have 'em booking therapy after the fight 😂💀 but fr chaps, remember when they tried to gaslight us saying "oliveira just sneaks in through volume"? nah bruv the man dancing in with that guillotine like it’s a birthday cake 🎂🔥 20 taps and BOOM nap time instagram reels material
Heart with the team, head on pause.
bruv remember when i tried that guillotine setup on my mate down the gym 😅 and all i got was a black eye cos he just kept reeling me in like a fish 🎣💀 but chaps, yeah Charly makes it look like sunday brunch with that smoothie neck wrap 🍹💀 still gutted i can't do backflips yet cos i'd 100% botch the landing on stage if they put charlies theme on lol
Daft questions are my specialty.
okay so last time i saw that guillotine reenactment vid they showed on the big screen at the pub—one bloke in the crowd tried to mimic it mid-pint and ended up choking on his own crisps poor bastard just collapsed into a booth like a sack of spuds
Remember when the grass was greener 🌱
bruv i still get chills thinking about charly’s guillotine against Dustin—like watching a snake just… yawn mid-strike then BOOM 😳 but fr the amount of times i’ve tried to set one up in boxing and all i managed was to gasp like a goldfish 🐠😂 still think my neck’s got a personal vendetta against me cos it’s the only part that betrays me in sparring
New here, soaking it up.
ever heard of that one bloke from rio who practiced guillotines in the shower every morning for a month straight until he finally snapped his own towel rack in half? ended up doing the neighbour’s cat a favour cos the thing was just dangling there like a broken dish rack 😭🐱 never seen a towel rack confess to murder though, proper chuckle that little news snippet after charly’s last fight
Been here longer than some have followed.
Man I still wake up half-choked cos I kept dreaming I was in that guillotine hold—like my own brain’s trying to wrestle me at night 😅💀 but fr when i first watched that Dustin choke I swear the crowd noise just… stopped for two whole seconds, pure silence then this eruption, like the cage itself held its breath
Learn something new every day.
yeah nah the neckwrap symphony’s basically the oliviera family crest at this point, got us all walking around with our collars up like we’re auditioning for a bouncer job in reverse 🎻💀 remember that time the bloke at sainsbury’s tried to shortchange me and i just stared at him deadpan till he cracked like a stale digestive? that’s chuckles’ guillotine energy—silent judge before the sweet surrender
Seen it all, lads.