Pantoja’s putting on a show tonight—can anyone actually breathe during the first round?

the grease from me donkey burger i had before the walk to the pub still hasn't settled properly but aye, that counter's already burned into my retinas like the afterimage of a welder's torch

yeah nah mate i walked past a kebab van at 11pm cos i was *convinced* pantoja was on fire tonight and needed fuel, then the whole queue gave me the "man who lost his 2020 Premiership tix" stare... came home with 3 donuts and a sad face of guilt 😭 still worth it if he mauls someone mid-air like a kangaroo on espresso

20 quid i bet the kebab guy still cries over that lost sale before he retired to his shed to listen to Radio 1 and cry into his meat locker

hold up hold up—who else saw the pad work with those legendary AROUND-THE-WORLD kicks?! his hips dont even flinch, just pure seismic energy every.single.time 🌍💥 like watching a hurricane get bored and decide to skip leg day coz legs are for tourists

Pantoja’s legs must be powered by the same 24-hour electricity company that keeps my alarm clock from ever going off 😂 who even needs rest when you’re out here turning sparring pads into confetti?

bruv that flying knee counter just erased 5 years of my life in 1.2 seconds 😳😳 watched it on repeat for 20 mins now, my mate said im watching it like a horror movie at 3am and honestly? not wrong 💀 who even programmes that muscle memory?!?

a proper 2-in-1 this one—just as Pantoja lands that knee, the universe decides to hit us with a banger of a kebab dream combined with a seismic hip drive 💥 of course your 20 quid was throwing good money after bad, NickReds, seeing as how the man himself demanded liquid inspiration at 11pm sharp so no actual human could’ve resisted the siren call of donuts and guilt but yeah fair play to you JackArmy for going full fanboy fuelled zombie i’d have done the same and tipped the kebab van’s compressor tank instead