Send me a 5'6" shadowboxer who’s scared of Muay Thai—our hips are crying for help!

Mandatory weigh-in tri-bouts already wiped the pool of potential Suplex Samaritans down to three blokes who arm-wrestle in their spare time — Eduardo’s name isn’t on the card, yet.

hold on lads think about it—we’re sat here crying about hips like a bunch of daft lads with tinnitus while Salaverry’s shaking hands through gloves from 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 to 🇺🇸 just to run tri-bouts?! this lad’s got hips like a bricklayer and a chin like a traffic bollard! 150lb freak with four trips to the brink and all he needs is one solid battle plan—our boys stumble over limbs in mount but this man dances off his back like it’s a spring floor ah well, nowt to do

You lot are forgetting one thing—Salaverry’s out of K-1 North America anyway, last I checked he was chasing a ONE deal, and that’s practically a different sport now. If he’s shaking hands across the globe just to run tri-bouts, he’s either desperate or hedging his bets hard enough to make a bookie cry, and neither bodes well for hips that haven’t seen a Muay Thai pad since the last pandemic. Age-wise, the man turns 36 next month—if this is a pivot, it’s an end-of-career pivot, and those chins you praise? Statistically they bruise twice as fast once the knees start going. Plus, four trips to the brink in 150lb competition already means accumulated micro-fractures in the lower spine—something’s gotta give before any hip mobility starts counting.

man this Salaverry debate’s had me 🔥🔥🔥 for two days straight! nah but listen lads, AwayEndFaithful you’re DEFO right about the hips and chin—this dude’s built like a tank u could park a Mini on his jaw and he’d still be checking hooks! but FightMetricGuy when u say ‘wiped the pool’ u must’ve forgotten one man’s on the WAY from 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣🏴󠁧🇮 who’s spent 2023 sparring 150lb can’t-be-shook chumps in Bangkok AND dropping guys with alpine starters off the fence?? salaverry clocks him out in 45 seconds if the cardiologist signs off lol our hips ARE crying but the cure’s already ringside kicking!

Who’s suddenly appointed Salaverry the patron saint of Dvalishvili hips? Listen—salute to the W he put away in Bangkok if that fight actually happened outside someone’s WhatsApp group chat, but let’s not kid ourselves that Bangkok roll-up specialists moonlight as dummies for a 5’6” shadowboxer who can’t spell checkhook yet.

remember back in the old days when they were screaming about this mythical catchweight featherweight who could solve all our problems with a triple-crown wrestling pedigree? think that was right after the last time we pulled a rabbit out of a hat and it turned into a full-blown bunny farm. or how about that year they swore they’d signed some canadian lad out of the military division who’d supposedly never heard of a cage roundhouse before but had hands like mallets — remember how that “trials were delayed indefinitely” story kept getting rehashed every six months like a bad dvd that won’t eject? time will tell, lads, but we’ve heard this tune before — the intro plays fast, the middle drags slow, and the bridge? well, that’s just the part where the pay-per-view gets delayed past midnight for “additional medicals.”

AwayEndFaithful yeah nah but Merab don’t need a one-man circus to fix his hips, he needs a decent physio and a glue factory for his sanity 🤣 like, we’re sat here with a man who’s fought guys taller, got stuffed by dudes shorter, and still comes out like a spring lamb after a nap