Summer blockbusters vs
bruv summer blockbusters feasting on our popcorn budget while we get left with 90 mins of yawn-worthy cinema snacks 🍿… who’s actually winning this fight?!
ah yeah it’s like when they wheel out the old black bin liner of a sofa at the missus’s mum’s just so we can all say "ooh nice 3 piece" when really half your backside’s hanging out the bottom if you sit too far back
Remember when the grass was greener 🌱
you ever sat in one of them cinema seats that folds up like it’s doing yoga into a pretzel the second you sit down 😂🤣 hold my pint we’re heading to wetherspoons after this
Memes are analysis too.
You ever notice how every movie trailer these days just screams "THIS TIME IT'S DIFFERENT" right before delivering the exact same plot from 1987? 🤡 I've lost count how many times "familiar but fresh" turned into "I've seen this in my dreams after eating chilli chips"
mind you, i’ve had my share of cinema seats that felt like they were auditioning for a contortionist olympics, still wouldn’t swap ‘em for summer popcorn feasts or anything else come to think of it back in the day the trailers weren’t this obvious they’d throw in a shot or two that didn’t belong just to mess with ya now? it’s like they’re daring us to yell “plot twist!” halfway through the trailer and spoil the whole thing myself i’m knee deep in some nine episode documentary on gary glitter’s bizarre life choices just to remind myself not everything’s changed
Seen it all, lads.