Volk-Forever: Let’s banter like we’re the last group who saw him tap out in the cage!
whatcha doing lads?? beer in hand, decked out in that black t shirt with the blazin af fire logo?? got me banger playin in the kitchen while i chop some cheese for a slab of bread before the cage—might see those baldy bastards tap out again come saturday 🔥💪 MANIFEST IT RIGHT HERE folks, let’s turn the thread into a voodoo doll circle until 15-0 on the scorecard.. who’s bringing the memes tomorrow so we can flood the feed with volkie 😱🙌 nights can’t come soon enough!!
On the terraces since I was a kid.
well i woke up this mornin and the first thing i thought was *why don’t we just sign volk for life and call the next forty years a warm-up period* then i knocked over me tea like some eejit and stared at the ceiling ponderin how many times that man’s made the whole world look like they were watchin a highlight tape from five years ago
Seen it all, lads.
Tea emergency like that needs a proper remembrance kneecap to the imagination, doesn’t it? ever since Volk decided tap-outs were just a suggestion I’ve started calling my tea cups *insurance policies*—better knock ‘em over than live in a world without that bald ninja floating ankles 🤣
Memes are analysis too.
just cracked open a cold one with the boys and we’re already sketchin out how McGregor’s gonna be walkin backwards to his corner at 4:20 like WALKIN SUCKER 😂 nah mate, the bald beast’s gonna LAUGH IN HIS FACE then drop him like a bad habit, again 💀🔥 ah well, nowt to do but print these tees early "MOMMY I SURVIVED THE TRILOGY" got me crayons and glitter ready for your meme spawn tomorrow boys, send it straight to my burner
One love, one side ❤️
Mate this McGregor trilogy talk is giving me 2016 flashbacks where we all had to bleach our eyes after the first leg 🤣 yea nah nah, 15-0’s a bit aggressive even for our bald god of chaos—let’s keep it realistic and aim for "McGregor tap out: 4:30 or bust" like we’re manifesting the actual fight 💀🔥 or y’know… just enjoy the bald king turn Volk mode on again and make us all look like we forgot he breathes fire now
Only serious one here — barely.
All this tea spilling nonsense got me picturing Volk’s corner filling the sink with McGregor masks like bloody trophies 🍳💥 nah but fr—imagine the bald legend strolling out, cracking his knuckles like "alright Granda, let’s do the same thing we’ve done twice already, yeah?" LADS THIS IS THE ONE WHERE HE PUTS HIM IN TIME OUT IN ROUND 1 AND WE ALL GET FRIDAY FREE 🎉🔥 4:30? nah mate, 2:59 and the whole Paddy’s army finally accepts they’ve been out-soldiered by a man with no hair and all the heart 💪 BLOOD & SWEAT BAR tonight is already booked for post-fight, who’s bringing the poster that says "RESTOCKING THE WORLD’S TEAPOTS"?
Heart with the team, head on pause.
Mans been plotting that tea spill like a stage magician planin his best trick 🤣 where’s the crash mat at? 9/10 times he's eejitin on carpet now we gotta ban mop duty in the corner 🧽 ever think he does it just to keep us on our toes before the real show starts? Plus, 15-0 manifestos sound like a bingo card someone printed in 2016 and forgot to check—McGregor’s last stand ain’t for another 3 fights, lads, save the glitter for when he’s actually in the cage and not your kitchen 🎨🔥
ah man this McGregor talk got me flashin back to that first trilogy night in Dublin when i was stood shoulder to shoulder with a load of bald lads all screamin like we were the last ones left on earth 🤬💪 remember some lad’s missus chucked her pint over me cos i wouldn’t stop bawlin “WE’RE GONNA SEE HIM DROP HIM AGAIN” and now it’s *happening again*—nah mate this time it’s not gonna be close, it’s VOLK 4:30 flat like he’s clockin in for work after a holiday 🔥 the man’s been nappin in between fights cos he’s that good, McG’s just a gimmick at this point
ahahha meh mates, you're all actin like this trilogy’s already been promoted to a holiday special 😂 nah fr—Volk hasn’t even *yawned* at McGregor since the man begged for mercy on his knee first time, how we droppin straight to "blood & sweat bar" tees already like it’s just some friendly kickabout? 🎽 next you lot’ll have me buyin drinks for a trilogy that hasn’t even been signed yet like we’re celebratin a christenin 🤣 no no no, let’s simmer down: McG gets one last lucky charm by round 3, Volk rolls him up like a fresh spring roll, and we’re all stood in silence with our pints half-drunk cuz even *that* bald c*nt’s too scary to cheer after 🤫 book the bar now though coz when Volk finally puts the man to sleep at 3:12 flat every second of that refunded ticket money is gonna scream "WE WERE RIGHT" all over again 💀🔥
Absolute meltdown earlier when some random numpty on TikTok tried claimin McG’s still got that fire from 2016—nah mate, the lad last seen cryin in the octagon before Volk even tapped the cage twice is straight-up fossilised by now, 3-0 to the lion for a reason! 😂🔥 picture this: Granda strolls out, drops his stool like it’s hot 🎶 then goes straight for the chokehold while the bald king just stares into his soul like “alright mate, how many times we doin this?” R3? nah mate, R1 domino express straight to the refund racket, every single lapdog locked in silence while we’re smashin jugs toastin to the king turnin 15-0 into reality before kickoff!
You don't abandon your own.
remember when i was on that coach back from dublin with a bunch of lads who all had the same look of utter disbelief on our faces like we’d just witnessed a man lift his own weight and drop it on his opponent just for fun that night? and now here we are again, queuing up for round one of round three, the same bald madman stood in the middle of the cage like some sort of unstoppable force of nature while the rest of us are stood here arguing over pint timings and free bar entry codes oh lads what a time to be alive where’s me phone someone find me the poster that says “mcgregor’s knees were last seen working in 2016” and stick it on the toilet door at blood & sweat cos tonight’s the night we all finally get to watch him give up without a single round number to comfort him 🤬🔥
Remember when the grass was greener 🌱