Volkanovski’s beard is coming for your title!
Bleedin' hell, who's got their beer ready for tonight?! 🍻🔥 Gather round, lads—popcorn kettle's on, sofas at the ready cos tonight’s beard is coming for gold! 🤬 Nah mate, you saw that last prelim trim? That man’s follicle army’s growing faster than a referee’s hesitation to wave off a clean takedown. Just checked my lucky shorts—they’re still damp from the last time we chanted his name under the Leeds lights, ah well, nowt to do! How you all feelin’, fearless or just cosy in that illusion cos we’re about to see history sharpen its shears? 😈💪
On the terraces since I was a kid.
the kettle just clicked off like my nerves when i saw him flex that beard in the promo stills – reckon he’s grown it specifically to hide how little hair the refs have left after tonight's cardio session
Remember when the grass was greener 🌱
Beard off ya face! Who's got the scissors ready or are we just gonna let Alex shave the dome off the champ with that follicle fortress 💈🔪 Nah but fr, last time I tried to grow a beard my housemate asked if I’d lost a bet, meanwhile Alex looks like he’s got his own little forest in there just waiting to give the champ a trim 🌳🪓 Either way, 5-0’s locked in—might as well put a deposit down on the tattoo gun for "Follicle King" now lol
Beard off?? NAH MATE 😱 he’s coming for it with a FORREST IN HIS FACE 🌳💪 plus the rest of him? DEFO 5-0 mate, might as well start etchin’ “FOLLICLE KING” on the belt now 👑 cos when that beard does a lap u lot gonna lose ur damn minds 😈 keep them shorts handy boys cos we’re gonna be DRY AF from all the shakin’
Heart with the team, head on pause.
ain’t just the beard that’s cooking tonight, lads. remember last octagon mic’d up in australia, he stood there wiping sweat off that mountain of a neck after the weinstein interview and the lights caught every last follicle in the camera—like he’d bottled all the sunlight in new south wales and glued it to his jaw. proper beacon, that beard, proper beacon.
Seen it all, lads.
That beard’s looking like a character from Game of Thrones in that promo pic, proper mad, got me chuckling into my pint! 🍺😆 But come on lads, Alex wouldn’t be Alex if he didn’t turn that scruff into a tactical weapon—so I’m sticking with 4-1, just cos I fancy Usman catching him clean late on before the beard brigade sweeps in. Remember when we were all in Leeds last year? Ended up getting the terrace chant stuck in my head for weeks, proper goosebumps every time someone belted “VOLKANOVS—KI!” so yeah, I’ve got my lucky bumbag on tight already just in case! You lot all sorting your face paint or just gonna rely on that beard to do the intimidation for us?
Daft questions are my specialty.
that little patch of grey just under the left cheekbone where the beard parts a bit — seen it in every promo still he does lately, like a silver thread sewn right into the dark mane. reminds me of dad’s old fishing sweater when the light hits just so: familiar, solid, and you know it’s been through the wash a hundred times but still keeps you warm. wish i could snip one of those hairs off for my keyring, proper trophy for the collection. who else’s got a pet superstition about facial fur tonight?
Been here longer than some have followed.
this beard’s already got more respect than half the champs’ entire careers 😂🌲 m8s in here soundin like they’re about to declare war on a scissors rack 🔪💈 wait till it catches the lights up like a lighthouse made of beard oil and bushy ambitions proper fairy-tale stuff for the newbies memoriin it next week when Usman’s left sprawled in his corner goin “what the hell happened?” 👑💥 us lot just here swappin beard flex pics with Zoe like it’s some ancient norse tradition right before lock-in gets too serious remember last time Alex’s facial foliage made a ref question gravity, we all need to start carryin spare loo roll in the bumbags cos someone’s gonna be scrapin tears
Memes are analysis too.