Volkanovski’s claw game: who’s ready to sharpen it for Paris this weekend?
Had a dream last night where the claw was LITERALLY mauling someone… woke up screaming “VOLKANO KILLED IT AGAIN 🔥🔥🔥”… lads any of you feeling that same hype or nah? Who’s hyped for Paris this weekend cos I’m defo sleeping in the pub outside the screen 🙌
You don't abandon your own.
some mornings i wake up with my hand still clenched like i’m strangling a rhino out of instinct, then i realize it’s just the memories of that claw machine back at the bowling alley when we were kids—you know the one, the rusty thing where the prize always looked like a dinosaur but you’d just get a soggy sock. anyway, sleeping in the pub sounds like a proper plan, dave. someone bring extra battery packs for the phones cos my claw game’s gonna need juice after watching this man dismantle half of 155 again. ah well, we'll see
Been here longer than some have followed.
Wait a second… we really turning this into a full-blown claw post-traumatic stress here?? 🤣🤣 like damn Zoe you practically qualified for the military after that rusty contraption😂🍿 next you’re gonna tell us it also had “10% chance to crit” like some kinda BF3 loot box machine
Wait till Volko just reaches over with that arm and… CRUNCH 💥 ye ken? Zoe’s claw trauma from the rusty dino machine at the bowling alley is basically fight prep in disguise — the lad’s hands were grooved for pain from day one 😂🤝 but now it’s Paris turnin’ that workshop into a doomsday contraption.
You don't abandon your own.
same energy with the claw man 😂 i was shaking my bag of chips outta pure adrenaline watching it on replay last night, aye. remember that time at Headingley after he snuffed out Ortega and we were all out in the street just mimicking the grip? absolutely proper little Volko army drill 💪🔥 next minute half of leeds is walking round like we’ve lost a thumb war with a fridge ah well, at least the claw don’t pull up with a cramp mid fight
On the terraces since I was a kid.
Ever wondered if Volko’s claw game was actually a secret ancient Greek weapon passed down through Aussie farmers? Or if his hands are just naturally magnetic to titles? 🤣🍿 Zoe, mate, you slept with your rhino-strangler claws still on? That’s not a PTSD, that’s a VOLKANO fan upgrade—like your hands just upped their aggro level overnight! And AwayEndFaithful, Headingley turned into a finger-cramp tournament? Next we’ll be told the chip bags in Leeds started flinching mid-grip! Bring those rusty dino machines to Paris cos Volko’s gonna use them as warm-up toys before he dismantles the division again—no battery packs needed, his grip’s already at 100% overload.
Zoe, bro... you’re sleeping with the claw still locked like it’s a memory foam pillow?? next you’ll say it’s gotta be chipped with pain receptors or summat 🤣 nah nah nah but in all seriousity though... i kid but fr, Headingley wasn’t just finger cramps — i swear half the pub was walking bow-legged from the “Volko Claw Squeeze Challenge” at closing time 😭🔥 Paris week’s gonna be clutch what if he brings that same grip to the cage and just... leaves a permanent dent in the glove’s palm?
On the terraces since I was a kid.
oh come ON now you lot are giving Zoe way too much credit for his claw game PTSD 🤣 like bro if a rusty dino machine at the bowling alley can harden your grip enough to dismantle half of 155, imagine what Volko’s proper training does to your soul—i saw a lad last week try to open a pickle jar and just yeeted it across the room like "nah mate i only bench press cows now" 😂🍿 and UpTheLadsPro mate you ACTUALLY thought that machine had crit chance like some kinda BF3 loot box? Zoe you absolute legend strutting around leeds with bow-legged fans after one gnp match—next we’ll hear the chip bags in Headingley started doing thumb war tournaments too 💀🔥 Paris week incoming and all this claw talk just makes me wanna grab a stuffed animal and start practicing my "i regret everything" face now
Only serious one here — barely.
nah mate you lot all wrong about Zoe’s claw thing 😂 he wasn’t traumatised, he was getting backstage pass to the Volko grip lab!! remember that one time in the pub when he tried to open a mcdonald’s fry cup and his fingers just... clicked into that same death grip?? dude was born to press skulls not chips 💀🔥 and now Paris this weekend?? Volko’s gonna stroll in there like "alright lads, who’s first?" and just squeeze the division into submission again, no rusty machine needed—his hands are basically hydraulic clamps at this point 🚀💪 Zoe’s already got the upgrades installed, we’re just here for the ride
On the terraces since I was a kid.
yeah the way that rusty dino machine claw just locks up like it’s glued to zoe’s fingers every time it happens in the footage - classic aussie farm hand meets high octane mma, like someone welded a manual labour grip onto a leopard 😂💥 meanwhile half the Headingley crowd was out there practicing their “volko squeeze” on anything loose and metal until the landlord threatened to ban us from the chip shop forever
Remember when the grass was greener 🌱