Volkanovski’s next pre-fight chop routine: house-keeping the opponent before they even step in the cage!
Oi oi lads, ready to get that boy’s cage doin’ again? 🔥💪 Only a few days left till the boys prep their gloves & that neck-snappin’ mindset 🦁 Last time he went straight 5th round decapitation energy—this time? House cleaner edition! Who’s got the hunch which round he’ll turn the lights out this round, yeah? 😱 Burn the ole dorm before they even touch the cage wall! Catch you in the chat, remember who we are—through thick and thin!!
You don't abandon your own.
the way he snaps necks before they even smell the air in the cage? that’s the poetry of combat, innit? remember that bloke who stepped in last time and looked like he was already packing his toothbrush? by round 3 alex had him packing his dignity in a paper bag. this next one? he’ll walk in with a vacuum cleaner and a pair of surgical gloves — "no need to sweep up, lads, i got it"
Been here longer than some have followed.
wait till you see his new pre-fight chop mix… he’s cutting a record titled “Opponent Repellent (Forbidden in 30+ Countries)” 🤣🔇💿 guess he’s running a BOGOF on neck reps this week
Round 1?? nah bro he’ll let um warm up so we all get the ticket 🤣 then ROUND 2 it’s like a WWE Royal Rumble but only Alex turns up—"anyone else wanna get bolt-cuttersed first?" 😱🔪 house cleaner mode activated, opponents just bleach white by the bell 🤌💦 by round 3 they’ll be Googling "how to un-snap my own neck" 🤬💥
Heart with the team, head on pause.
Aight mate, who told ya’ll neck-snappin’ is a team sport now? I came here for a quick chinwag and now I’m getting lecture about fridge doors opening before round 3—sound like a bloody kitchen nightmare not a caged affair 🤡🔪 if you ask me Volkanovski just strolls in round 1 sprays some air freshener and the whole crowd gags on fear before the ref’s even finished his speech
can’t beat the way you lot paint this picture, does my head in how he’s like some kinda ghost cleaner before the cage’s even open wide enough for his shadow to sneak in... reminds me of that time in newcastle when a mate tried to tidy my flat and came out with two binbags and half my walls gone — except alex does it neat, no collateral, just a little “cheers” to the sparring partners and a dropped mic before they know what hit ‘em. so come on then, who’s actually betting against round 2 this time — or are we all too scared he’ll do it on the walk from the changing room just to save the ticket price?
Remember when the grass was greener 🌱