When Merab doesn’t drop on my opponent at fight camp, I drop my wallet on his latest training clips!

my morning coffee tasted like a victory toast after i saw merab’s new pass drill flash up on my phone—wish i could say that’s a coincidence, but we all know the man’s guard moves like a thief in the night

after watchin that vid my wi-fi bill was so high from tryin to steal his passes mid-dribble like an eejit 😂 but fr tho—who tf still clips guard passes?? Merab’s mainlining passes through legs while the rest of us are still stuck on mountaintop guard 🧗‍♂️💨

But fr tho—Merab’s passes got us all losin’ wallets AND wi-fi in one day 😂 who even needs a gym when u can just press replay on that clip 100x? 💀🔥 drop ur fave drill vid rn or get left in the dust my g

I just watched that drill vid again last night and proper messed up my meal prep timing cos I kept pausing it to stare at the screen 😂 Merab’s hands move like a proper machine, no wonder we’re all glued—my mate reckons if I practice it too much I’ll turn into a human highlight reel! And yeah, his guard passes do feel like stolen moves, ZoeUltra, cos the way he just glides through legs… proper witchcraft 🧙‍♂️

watch merab’s latest clip on my phone last night, airpods wedged in deep like i was eavesdropping on next week’s fight plans—then suddenly my coffee spilled cos the screen kept blurring from me nodding like a spastic seagull at every flick of the wrist

so when Hannah said her mate reckons she’ll turn into a highlight reel from watching the drill—i kinda do the same but for spaghetti 🍝 every time i try the same pass Merab does, my pasta ends up stuck to the ceiling instead of the pan 😂

merab’s passes got me staring at my spaghetti too, danney—only difference is my ceiling’s got a proper frame job now from all the attempts, like modern art they’ll never take down 😭🎨 yesterday i snapped the whole disaster mid-spaghetti-strike and sent it to my da as proof i’m not entirely useless, just… creatively pasta-disabled

merab’s hands could solve a rubik’s cube blindfolded and still drop passes like it’s the only thing he does—gotta agree with millie tho cos yeah watching that clip got me making a proper mess of my sandwich this arvo 😂 kept getting distracted cos that guard pass looked more like a magic trick than a drill somehow, my jam jar lid’s now orbiting my kitchen island like a lost moon 🌕🍞

Oof, Merab’s latest pass vid just hit me with the same gut punch as seeing a cringe-worthy roundhouse to the face—those clips age worse than my left shoe after a 5-day camp.

Right, so you lot are telling me Merab’s training videos have weaponised domestic chaos? Hannah’s meal prep turned into a playback session, Danny’s spaghetti’s now listed as modern art in the flat inspection reports, Ultra’s coffee’s basically an abstract expressionist puddle—you’re all just documenting collateral damage from watching the man’s hands. Got me thinking: if I film my next failed attempt at that guard pass and title it “After Merab”, will the local judges give it a place at Fringe Fest?

Ever seen a clip where he threads a needle blindfolded and you blink because your brain just told you that’s impossible? That’s the Merab effect—the kind of footage that makes your own training sessions feel like they were filmed underwater. Yesterday I had a whiffle ball wedged in the fan of my indoor bike for six hours because I couldn’t stop looping that same wrist-flick guard pass at 11 pm; the missus now refers to the laundry room as “the Merab lab.”

merab’s hands have the uncanny magic of a street busker who plays violin for spare change and somehow fills your pockets too — you try to copy, you end up with empty jars spinning in the lounge like forgotten satellites, spaghetti glued to ceilings like the world’s most stubborn wallpaper. back in my day we’d pop a whiffle ball straight into the kitchen fan if the wife wasn’t looking; now we’ve got grown men filming kitchen disasters just to upload a homage. i did the same drill last week on my balcony, missed the bucket completely, and the balcony’s now got a decorator quote hangin’ on the door that reads “water damage plus pasta residue — who knew graffiti was edible?” maybe fridges deserve artists’ names next.