Yo JG’s fan club—let’s go EARLY to the March 1st card, pump those cowboy hats, and banter…
oof never been this hyped for a card, lads!! 🔥💪 lets get to vegas EARLY boyz, cowboy hats SOAKED in glory by the time gaethje steps out! 🤬 who else out here already imaginein his headgear drenched like he’s wearin’ the goddamn victory crown, proper immortal look, ya feel me? first round—BANG, lights out, we stormin’ his section before the cage even opens!! c’monnn 🙌
One love, one side ❤️
last time we all tried to leave the vegas airport with our cowboy hats still dry we looked like a bunch of kids who’d never seen rain let alone the sweet spray of jet engines. ah well, we’ll see
Been here longer than some have followed.
y’all ever tried to revive a soggy cowboy hat in the hotel bathroom with the hairdryer only for it to emerge looking like someone microwaved a bad toupee after a Vegas heat wave? 😭🤣 hold my pint while i stuff it full of napkins and duct tape like we’re jury-rigging a bunker—next thing ya know it’s up for “most creative survival hack” at the fan club awards and Justin’s still unleashing left hands like they’re on a conveyer belt 🛗💥 c’monnn let’s gooo
Came to laugh, stayed for life 🍿
yeah nah but who tf *didn’t* lose that hat battle last trip?? i still got fibres of denim stuck in my jaw from that airport tornado... proper "loyal to a fault" headgear right there 😭🔥 if we're gonna sweat blood through it this time let's just duct-tape it permanently to our skulls so at least it respects the sacrifice
You don't abandon your own.
Man I’ve been chewing my nails since UFC 306 waiting to see Gaethje actually roast some left hand in person again 🔥 my last hat got stamped with “Justin Strikes 2024” in Sharpie by a fan outside T-Mobile Arena and I still sleep with it under my pillow like it’s a baby blanket lol—wish I’d duct-taped it then cuz Vegas airport traffic shredded it to confetti 😭
you ever tried squeezing into the back of a vegas shuttle at 6am after a 5hour queue for the weigh-ins and still having enough spit in your throat to scream "he's wearing it like a halo of pain"? that left hand's become like his third eye out there — not just for him, for all us who've watched him gush through headgear that's 70percent sweat and 30percent sheer legend by fight time. remember that scottish lad at UFC 298, the one who turned up with a hat already soggy from the rain at the airport and ended up using it to blot Justin's glove between rounds? proper sacrifice theatre, that.
Seen it all, lads.
anyone else’s hats end up a soggy mess before they even *see* the cage? like, mine got ruined at security just by standin’ too close to the guy who thought his frozen margarita was a bath spray 😅 still love that thing though, it smells like arena grass and cowboy sweat now. i reckon if we’re gonna waste another hat in march we might as well embroider it with “left hand express” in gaethje’s font—what do you lot reckon, stitch on the revenge?
Learning from the veterans, go easy 🙏
right, picture this: the last card we rolled into vegas on a coach that smelled like spilled beer and a family’s old chip pan, steering round those corners like it’s got a hangover itself, and suddenly there’s this big screen flickering on the motorway showing the UFC promo reel — just Gaethje spinning like a top, left mitt zipping out of nowhere, and half the bus belted out “he’s wearing it like a halo of pain” before i’d even blinked. whole coach shook like a washing machine. by the time we stumbled into the arena the hats looked like they’d been through a monsoon, and half the lads were still laughing about the bloke who tried to iron his flat brim with a hotel kettle only to find the glue had melted into something between a beaver dam and a modern art sculpture. pure sacrifice theatre, innit?
Remember when the grass was greener 🌱
Man I’ll never forget the time I got the exact same hat as my bro at UFC 304 in Phoenix—only for him to chuck it into the Octagon after Gaethje dropped that left hand on Ponzinibbio 😭 like the cap was just a sacrificial lamb, nothing more. Mine still has a faint scent of arena popcorn and adrenaline, and I swear if you squint at the brim you can see the ghost of that left hand just *slicing* through the air—proper keepsake. But yeah nah, no way that march hat survives Vegas transport unless I basically superglue it to my head like Tom said, lads won’t catch me unprepared this time round!
Learning from the veterans, go easy 🙏
yeah but who among us actually *needs* a holiday after a gaethje card? that man’s left hand doesn’t just pump adrenaline—it turns the whole trip into one long adrenaline hangover, hats sacrificed in the name of glory and all we’ve got left is the reek of cowboy hat and victory in our nostrils. remember that poor bastard at ufc 306 whose lid got turned into confetti by a particularly vicious taxi door, only to turn up in the cage still wearing the remains like a furry little glove? legend material, that one. so march rolls around and we’re back on that bloody shuttle again, hats soaked through with legend before we even hit the weigh-ins, hearts already racing like we’re the ones about to step into that cage—left hand express waiting, and every one of us with duct tape in our pockets and a spare brim in the hotel room, just in case. swear on my nan’s tea cosy we’ll walk out of there with at least three new hats and the ghost of a left hand stitched into the fibres of whatever survives...
Remember when the grass was greener 🌱