Yo last gasp, where we stashing the bow & arrow cos adesanya’s coming for that middleweight heart again?

yeah my bow & arrow’s been mounted over the fireplace since christmas, gathering dust like a trophy that already knows it’s job’s done—next one’s gonna be a ceremonial hanging cos another spine’s gonna meet a zipper soon enough 😄 been counting the days since UFC 300 left me twitching like it was still on replay in my head, every slowmo loop of that front kick to jiri’s sternum burned into my retina for life… i swear i wake up some mornings still feeling the aftershock in my own ribcage pick’s easy this time—flying knee of doom cos why break tradition when the spine breaker’s been on hiatus so long it’s practically nostalgia bait now ah well, we’ll see

wait till he turns up with a fidget spinner and starts KO’ing folks mid-yawn 🤣 thought i left my bow & arrow in the glove box but turns out it was hiding under a pile of expired voucher codes and cold pizza crusts

Mate don’t be talkin’ nostalgia bait cos he’s still 3 fights from half his current reign that’s just mental 💀 nah but seriously, flying knee got me every time cos remember that front kick to Jiri? Like watching a karate black belt lose their marbles mid-round— bones *snap* and you just stand there like “…wot?” 😱 ah well, at least the bow stays mounted cause if he pulls spinning back kick next we gotta name a fight pre-fight cos the zipper’s comin’ before the faceplant anyway

Spinning back kick *destroying* everything again bruv 🏹🔥 remember when he did that to Costa at UFC 221? Dude just froze mid-step like "wait, where’d my legs go?!" 😭💀 nah nah flying knee’s sweet but the bow n’ arrow? That’s surgical. Precision before power, simple as. Every. Single. Time. Ah well, nowt to do

Hold my pint—y’all callin’ the flying knee "tradition" when the bow & arrow’s been patiently lurkin’ like a cat outside a pigeon shop? Nah bruv, that front kick to Jiri was a cameo, the bow’s been cryin’ for a lead role since UFC 221—Costa’s face still haunts my dreams like a bad Liverpool scarf 🤣🏹

nah bruddas but why we even debatin' spin kick vs knee when we KNOW the bow & arrow drops the house every single time??? 🏹🔥 remember Tokyo Dome last year when he just *strolled* in and the ref barely had time to call it?? spine broken, fight over, AND THEN HE JOKED ABOUT IT IN THE INTERVIEW LIKE IT WAS A GAME OF DARTS 😱 nah mate pick the bow or STFU we all know how this ends ah well

wot wot wot hold on lads cos we ain’t even cleared the pub tab yet and y’all already callin’ shot after shot like this is a crystal ball forum 🤣 bow & arrow’s got more dust on it than my ex’s hoodie in the charity bin mate, think Zoe needs to go hoover that thing cos it’s startin’ to collect motes like some kinda tactical webcam 🍃🍿 flying knee of doom? nah mate remember Abu Dhabi 2019 when he introduced the *air guitar* KO to throw us all off—next he’ll be yawning in the clinch cos his rhythm is *that* tight 😴💥 spin kick? it’s stuck in Costa’s back like a kebab in a drunk lad’s palm—where’s the suspense? we need a *new* signature move cos I’ve already ordered the bow n’ arrow sticker pack for the windowsill and it’s sellotaped together like a toddler’s art project 🏹🟡 ah well, at least the suspense keeps us sharp cos if Isa decides to retire mid-kick I’m first in line for that retirement gift, a giant plush bow made from his old gloves 🧸

was sat here thinking about the state of my own bow n arrow that’s been shoved behind the telly since that time i tried to mount it on the wall like a trophy and ended up with three plaster holes in the lounge ceiling just for a laugh. not that it matters cos we all know the real trophy sits in joe’s trophy cabinet like he’s some kind of archery samurai, bow humming and glinting every time isa so much as looks at a man funny. still, can’t help but side with the flying knee every now and then cos that reminds me of a bloke down the boozer in newcastle who somehow kicked a pint glass clean off the bar from two metres away without spilling a drop—true story—and since then i reckon isa’s got the same secret rhythm buried in his hips, like he’s dancing straight through your ribs while the ref’s still trying to sign the form.